Podcast Transcript | Ep. 21

Authenticity & Inner Abundance

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

[00:00:45] Hello and welcome everyone. I'm your host, Brandon Ward. Back with the 21st episode. Of order within. Today's topic is something that I am very passionate about.

[00:01:01] Authenticity. The name of the episode is authenticity and inner abundance. And so we're going to explain. What that looks like. We're going to talk about what is authenticity. The need to wear masks, authenticity, and fulfillment, the opposite of authentic. Living in a plastic world.

[00:01:20] And the power of authenticity, your niches, you, and then finally, how to live more authentically. So those are some high level points that we're going to be covering in today's show. I think something. Many of us may struggle with is authenticity. And particularly in the world that we live today.

[00:01:40] And it's important to first define what is authenticity? And so for me, That means someone is real someone who's genuine. Someone is truthful. They're lying there. Their words and deeds are aligned. Most of the time. So there's a component to the way that a person will carry themselves when they're authentic.

[00:02:07] They make good eye contact. They're not pressing too hard. On some issue or trying to convince you very strongly of something.

[00:02:16] And being authentic doesn't mean nice either. I think sometimes we assume that authenticity means that you're nice all the time You just are a kind, kind of meek person. And what I've found is that's not at all true. You can actually be a pretty terrible person and be authentic. But what I've found is I prefer people.

[00:02:42] Who are genuinely themselves. Even if that means they're kind of a jerk or they're kind of negative or they're. Not necessarily that nice to other people. If you know what you're going to get with them, though, if they're consistent in their behaviors, if they're consistent in the way they interact with other

[00:03:03] Those are indicators of an authentic expression of someone's self. And the variety of that, the range. That we can have in terms of our expression of ourself. Is massive. And. Throughout my life. I found that my most authentic friends have some edge to them. They are uniquely who they are. And they don't.

[00:03:31] Sugarcoat things necessarily, right? They're going to tell you the truth. They're going to tell you their feelings. They're going to share their perspectives. They're going to tell you why those things, why they feel the way that they Those are characteristics, some characteristics of authenticity.

[00:03:46] And. This takes time to, to learn about people, learn if they're authentic it also, when you're observing their behavior. Are they consistent with all people or do they change? How they act and behave with others. That could be an indicator of a lack of authenticity. Something that. I've experienced a lot throughout life. I know many of us have, and I'm going to talk a little bit about that later.

[00:04:14] My own kind of periods of life, where I was living in authentically, what that means. And so I think a big piece of authenticity though, is that there's just a realness to it. There's a genuine component. There's a genuine expression of someone's being it's sometimes it's something you feel when you're around someone, but I think the biggest indicator is often their consistency in how they are with everyone.

[00:04:39] They treat people similarly. They share things. Similarly they express themselves similarly in, in most environments. And so when there's consistency across someone's behavior, to me, that's an indicator that they're being authentic to who they are. And now there's also an aspect of self-awareness that I think authenticity really contributes or awareness contributes to authenticity.

[00:05:03] And the more aware we become of who we are, our inner worlds, the things that matter to us. The more, we can live a more authentic life. And that leads into. How our society. There are a need to wear masks. From societal pressures. In the sense that we have to work, we have to earn money. There are relationships and interactions that we have to have with.

[00:05:31] Other people. In our society and that requires a civilized way of behaving. And sometimes that can be fake. It can be like, as an example, if you're having a bad And you're feeling really poorly and someone asks you how you're doing and you say fine. Just to not go into the conversation or the reasons or whatever it may be behind how you're truly feeling. That's an example of where we may put up a mask to just move on and go about our day.

[00:05:59] There are needs for us to wear masks. And in certain situations we can't be authentic all the time. Often if we were, that may mean that we end up in jail or do goofy things or hurtful things sometimes if we just act on whatever we may feel inside. So there has to be a form of restraint there. And I think wearing masks sometimes play that.

[00:06:23] That role where it's a sense of restraint. Now. Societal pressures. Can increase the level. Or number of masks that we wear and what I've found, the more masks that we have to wear in our lives, the further away we are from our true selves. The more painful. It And. Wearing a mask can help us to survive in the world to meet the requirements of the world, the demands of the world.

[00:06:50] If we're in a, if we work in the professional world, we have a job, You sometimes have to be nice to customers or people that aren't necessarily nice to you, and you may not want to do that, but it's a requirement because of. Survival the needs that we have, we have to make money. The structure of our society.

[00:07:07] So it's balancing that. So it's, you can't do a way fully with masks. There's a healthy level of wearing masks in a functioning civilized society. Right. We can contain ourselves our animal urges and we can be as we are, and be kind and polite and do that. That's one the. Where it gets problematic is when the gap between who we are and the masks that we have to wear. And the number of masks that we wear every day are large. So we're wearing a lot of masks. And if the life that we're living every day is very far from who we truly are.

[00:07:45] Like if you're a lawyer. And you hate law and what you really want to be is a painter and you dream about painting every day. You wanted to paint when you were a kid? But your parents didn't allow you to do that. They force you to do something more practical. I'm making air quotes. You can't see that, but it's a more practical path.

[00:08:03] If you pursue that regardless of how you feel inside. You will live a very inauthentic life and create a lot of pain and misery for ourselves. Many of us do this. I've done this more. In the past, I'm working to align. The life that I dream about. From within to the life that I'm living externally, it takes time. So there are points where we must wear masks, but there's an extent to where, depending on how far.

[00:08:30] We are from who we are inside our authentic self. The more pain. Could be potentially created. From that.

[00:08:39] All right. So the next piece here that we're looking at is authenticity in fulfillment.

[00:08:45] Authenticity and fulfillment.

[00:08:46] When we begin to bridge that gap that we were just discussing. Is when our fulfillment can begin to rise. So the work that we do is understanding who we are, understanding the things that we care about, the values that we have, what we truly desire to create in the world and work to bring about those.

[00:09:06] Things to life work, to bring them into our world. That's bridging the gap of what we desire and where we're living. So the story that we gave earlier in that example with the lawyer, If I begin to make decisions. That align more with my desire to be a painter and an artist. And I make effort each day to align with that self. I begin painting on a regular basis. I disregard what my parents told me when I was young and I began to pursue my efforts as an artist and express myself. I'm now bridging that gap.

[00:09:40] And so the more we do this, the closer we align with who we are, the smaller that gap becomes. And the more depth we have. To experience fulfillment. Our unfulfillment comes when we're very far aligned. There's a lot of psychological pain that can come from that point, but the more we align, the more fulfilled we become.

[00:10:02] And so as we learn about who we are and learn about what we desire and work to take action, to create that life and align our actions with our desires, we become more and more fulfilled. This is the power of aligning authenticity with our actions. And our self-awareness to be true to who we are and live a more fulfilling life.

[00:10:23] And now that's the ideal state, right? That's what we're driving towards. We're driving towards bridging that gap and living our authentic self so that we can be fulfilled with who we are, whatever that may be.

[00:10:34] The opposite of authentic though is being fake.

[00:10:37] Now we've all been fake in our lives. Some of us are more fake than others. And. When I talk about being fake. And I will say to authenticity to me, I forgot to mention this earlier. There's a vulnerability component, right? An honesty, a genuineness. So that means they're not just showing you one side of themselves. You're seeing the full spectrum and range of who they are. You're seeing their negative.

[00:10:58] Emotions, their negative sides and their positive sides. They're showing you all of what they are. They're not trying to conceal certain parts of themselves. Now fakeness. Lives to conceal those parts of themselves. They, I think, most people will hide those things from themselves and others. So weaknesses fallacies, the shortcomings that we have are negative things inside will deny or suppress those things. And we'll try and hide them from the world. We'll try and hide those traits from others will try and only present a image of perfection into the world.

[00:11:34] I used to do that so much when I was younger in my early twenties. And when I was a teenager and a kid, I was trying to project the image of confidence project, the image of what I thought. Was attractive or ideal. And so many of us live that way. Particularly when we're younger, until we learn to love ourselves connect with who we are, nurture our own being and establish that strong relationship between our true selves and the life that we desire to live.

[00:12:05] So the faking it though, the faking it until we make it. That's a concept that a lot of people talk about. I used to believe in that I used to live by that.

[00:12:14] I faked it for years and I never made it. I only made it. And once I chose and learned, not just chose, but learned how to actually nurture. And love myself. So faking it until we make it is in my mind. A bit of a it's a, I think it's bad advice. And it's a fallacy in many ways, because really what you're doing is you're only creating more disconnect between who you really

[00:12:43] Now, if you want to be something and you find yourself not able to be that person, then there's something inside of you stopping you from living that way. That's the work, not faking it, but understand what's preventing you from loving yourself. Understand what's preventing you from feeling confident, from feeling secure, from feeling strong in who

[00:13:04] That's the key, not faking it. A big component of this too is we wear masks. We fake things. We project an image out into the world. To get what we want. And. It's so often done.

[00:13:18] Backhanded in the sense that we're not honest about what we desire. So we project an image, a specific image of goodness or wellbeing or whatever it is. Good intentions. I'm here to help you, whatever it may be, but really we're deceiving ourselves and we're deceiving others to get what we want. Instead of just being honest about what we want.

[00:13:38] We pretend that it's some Nobel cause. I find that. As I've gotten older, the more we can just be truthful about what we desire and be clear and transparent and open The happier and better off all of us are. And in, let me give you an example from when I was younger. I was very lonely, depressed, sad, all these things. We talked about it before on the show. If you're listener, if not, but I.

[00:14:03] If not. I did spend a large portion of my life. Depressed, sad, isolated, suicidal. I grew up in a, It was a pretty tumultuous household. Uh, divorced family. Anyway it created a lot of internal turmoil for myself. And I had anger issues and all of these things. So I was seeking to fill that void, to fill the lack of attention and love that I felt for myself. I was seeking that from others, particularly women.

[00:14:34] I spent a lot of my young days chasing women, trying to be something. To project that image of confidence to connect with women so that I could feel better about myself. I could feel confident I could be happy with who I was, but the way I went about doing that when I was young. Was the nice guy path. I pretended that I cared about a girl's interest and was interested in what she was doing and wanted to be her friend. And I would listen to her and hear all these things, but really I wanted to be with her. I wanted to date her and I was doing those things because I wanted something from her.

[00:15:08] And I wouldn't tell her. I was dishonest. I was being untruthful in my behavior and my intentions, and that's a learned behavior. Many of us learn that we learn to for whatever reason, depending on how we grew up. We learned that. What we desire. We can't just be open and transparent about that. We have to hide it. We have to conceal it. We have to play these games to get the things that we want, depending on the type of house that we were raised in, or the area that we grew up in. And so I adopted that behavior.

[00:15:36] I was living that way as I was older. And.

[00:15:40] I was miserable and I didn't have a lot of fulfilling relationships, really none from a relationship perspective. And also my friendships. We're suffering because I wasn't being genuine in my friendships. And so they weren't lasting, they weren't sticking because I wasn't being truthful. I was seeking approval, not expressing who I was. So when we do these things to seek approval and attention from other people, we're only hurting ourselves and other

[00:16:06] So we can remedy that by one learning who we are aligning our actions with ourselves, our ideal state, our ideal life, our ideal version of who we are, and being honest about what we want. Be clear, be open, be transparent. And if doing that. Turns people away or pushes them away. Then that is a good thing, though. It may hurt initially.

[00:16:32] The worst thing that we can possibly do is to deceive people. And then build relationships around that dishonesty, deception. In authenticity, because what we're doing is building a glass house in a relationship of something that we don't want. So if we're not expressing our interest and our intentions from day one,

[00:16:53] We're only concealing them. Delaying the inevitable and of the inevitable. Disappointment, but also.

[00:17:02] It's creating a massive buildup of pain. The longer we push this stuff out. The longer we stay away from who we are and what we desire. The greater that pain will be when we finally pull back and rip off that mask because we've been wearing it for so long in that gap is so large. It's not only with ourselves, it's with other people too. So the gap exists within us and in our relationships and our work, all of those things.

[00:17:31] The longer, we delay that the bigger that gap becomes, the more pain we have the potential to create in our lives and in the lives of people that we care about. So being honest about what we Being truthful in our intentions. And if that turns people away or pushes people Then that's a good thing. They can continue on their path to pursue and find something that aligns with what they desire. And then we can do the same. We're not wasting one another's time. We're not misleading. One another. We're getting clear and moving on.

[00:18:01] That was something that I learned. Recently in my life and it's paid off huge. It creates alignment with our being, with our relationships and it saves a lot of endless suffering.

[00:18:12] Opposite of authenticity is being fake. And that ties into the fact that we live in a very fake plastic world. Everything is deception right now. It's crazy with social media, the technology that we have, the Photoshopping, the videos, all the tools. It's so hard to find what's real anymore. Everything almost feels fake now. The entirety of our social structure, the social media, that's created the content that we're creating, the entertainment, all of those things.

[00:18:42] It's fake. And when you look at. Who we really look to from a role model perspective, who do we really idolize in our society today?

[00:18:53] Celebrities. Athletes public figures. People that get paid to pretend.

[00:19:00] Celebrities, literally get paid to play roles other than themselves. And is it any wonder when we idolize that. That's the same behavior that many of us are operating within, is it any surprise? When we find out that those people aren't great, people are moral people.

[00:19:17] They literally are paid to fake it to, to live something or not. So being that our society is so built around this. Plastic component. This perception is reality. This idea that what we perceive is reality, not reality itself, not what is beyond the surface. It's the surface level way of living.

[00:19:37] It's a very false veneer. It's a shallow veneer. Of reality. And it's all meant to deceive us in the sense of portraying an image, projecting an image of some kind. It's a way as I was mentioning earlier. To deceive people to get what someone may want from others, from work from society, oftentimes that's money and the other needs that they may have. So they deceive, they live these plastic lives so that they can get the things that they want, the things that they need. And again, this ties back into being fake, right?

[00:20:12] They're not being truthful about what they It's often disguised. As something good.

[00:20:18] And that's something that happens a lot. There's all these things that are portrayed as being doing like. The saying I heard a lot when I was a kid. And many other kids would hear this. Like I'm doing this for your good. I'm hurting you for your own good. That concept is so true in our life, in our society today. That so much of this, just look at what happened.

[00:20:43] Over the last few years with the pandemic. The whole concept was you will suffer, but it's for the greater good. So therefore it is justified. There's always these ideas, this, these collective ideas where the individuals are sacrificed at the hest of the greater good.

[00:21:02] It's always positioned as a moral mission. But the reality is that the people who are positioning that moral perspective as the right thing to do that, you just have to suffer. We just have to suffer all these high cost of living and all of these things, because it's the right thing to do because we're fixing this thing or we're addressing this corruption here or we're battling dictators, whatever it may be.

[00:21:26] But there's endless reasons. Climate change. I There's all look. And I'm not saying I want sustainable energy. I want a healthy. Vibrant abundant planet. That's I'm I love this place, this earth. It's beautiful. So I'm not against those things. It's just the way they are positioned the reasoning that they're positioned and the means to solve them. That's my problem. It's always looked at as something positive.

[00:21:55] But then the way we go about achieving it is. The majority of people suffer. That's what I can't get along with. And so when you look around at the world right now, there's so much of that going on and it's also creating. The shallow culture of entertainment and art. It's so crazy and pathetic. Why is that happening?

[00:22:20] It's, this is why we're not being genuine. We're not being authentic. We want the surface level guaranteed things, and we're doing things over and over and over and over and over again. There's no innovation. There's very little innovation in our art and our content. Now there's technology. Obviously that's been expanding and growing in And really making the. The time that it takes to have certain things, the connection in our life. Incredible. But there's also a downside to all that. And what we're seeing is this. Fakeness this shallowness, this emptiness, this. Focus on materialism purely without any depth to it without any soul, any heart.

[00:23:07] It's no wonder that there's so much garbage content out there on these platforms, just endless content, but how much of it is good?

[00:23:14] My wife and I spend so much of our time when we're watching shows and movies that we enjoy. Watching old ones.

[00:23:21] because it just thing was different. Music was different now there's modern stuff that we do partake in, but it's very few and far between. And so my hope is that the more we become aligned and authentic with who we are. We will be creating more authentic art expression, content, innovation technology, all of these things are possible when we align with our authenticity.

[00:23:46] And create a world from an inner abundance perspective. That's the whole concept of this. That's the power of authenticity is that we create from abundance within ourselves. When we live authentically. There is a well of depth within us that all of us have been given a seed that we can nurture. That we have to create express and share it is our source of life.

[00:24:11] It is the very thing it has our that eternal flame, that spiritual flame, that many have talked about throughout history. That is our power, our source of authenticity. And the closer we get to that. The closer we align with that. The more we can create truthful, authentic ways of expression. People crave this. They are yearning for truth, yearning for realness, yearning for connection and authenticity. We want it so bad.

[00:24:39] We're desperate for it. We scour the internet seeking Looking in communities and social media all over the place, looking for. That connection, that authenticity. Authenticity is powerful. Especially in the world that we're living today, the fake plastic world. This authenticity is the counter punch to all of that. It's the counter-culture to all of that. It will be the primary culture.

[00:25:07] I predict that over the coming decades, because people have had enough of this fakeness. This emptiness. And so with that, There's a wave And we have an opportunity to be at the forefront of that wave, helping to create change through our authenticity. Through living true to who we are by being what we are.

[00:25:27] And.

[00:25:28] That comes back to. And this is something that I recently discovered. Is that your niche is you. Your authentic self that's the niche. Not the thing that you focus on the content that you create or the interest that you have per se. It's the combination of all those things, the stories, you're experience, your perspective.

[00:25:50] The things that you're interested in. It's that combination of all that stuff. That makes you uniquely you. Which is what stands out in a world of replicants and fakeness. So your niche is you that authentic version of yourself. That's waiting to be cultivated, tapped, and uncovered. It's a rich treasure trove of spirit and soul.

[00:26:18] There within all of us. And it's my mission in life to communicate these truths and fight for them and share them as much as I can. It took me a long time to learn that. I'm hoping I can teach my daughter, these things at a very young age to see what can happen when a child can embrace these ideas and live true to themselves from day one.

[00:26:39] What could that person do? I'm hoping. That it will impact her life in a very positive way. And I'm hoping to do the same thing with others. Because the world needs it. The world needs that authenticity, it needs solutions and innovation and creativity. And that comes from our source of self. That's where it comes from. And so because of that,

[00:27:05] Our ourself becomes our power. And if we're seeking to live more authentically.

[00:27:12] Then we, which most of us are, I assume that's why you're listening. Is you want to begin and continue to build the relationship from within build the relationship with yourself. Spend time with who you are, spend time alone. Learn about yourself. Listen to yourself. Journal. Think, ask yourself questions, have conversations with yourself. I know that might sound crazy.

[00:27:38] But I can't tell you how much value can From just walking around in a space by yourself and just thinking and talking out loud, asking questions and then thinking about it and answering Enjoy it. Embrace yourself. Realize that. Who you are is the richness that you have to offer the world. And you can experience that for yourself.

[00:27:59] By connecting from within and building this relationship. You must firsthand know how great you are and you do that by experiencing yourself by establishing that connection and relationship from Now it takes courage to do this. You're stepping out from the herd. You're stepping away from the It's scary to do that. There's safety in the collective.

[00:28:24] Because you have the power of the collective. But you surrender and sacrifice so much when we do that. Our freedom, our fulfillment, our enjoyment. And ultimately our expression and our most powerful growth and opportunity to learn and evolve here on earth. We're surrendering, surrendering, all that. When we.

[00:28:48] Don't make the leap into our authenticity and live courageously. So it takes courage to But I can promise you it is worth

[00:28:56] There's nothing greater than feeling strong, confident, and at peace with yourself from within, regardless of the scenario. Now that doesn't mean everything's perfect. It doesn't mean you're not going to have bad days. It doesn't mean you're not going to be sad or hurt. Or angry or any of those things. It's not a constant state of Zen.

[00:29:13] Life is tumultuous. We go through things. That's what it is. But.

[00:29:19] That's our power. That's where we derive our power from. And without that we're going, it's almost guaranteed that we're going to live an empty life. And connecting with who we are living from within and expressing ourselves allows us to live our highest lives and live up to our potential. That's the whole concept of it is being true to who we are and living true to who we are and creating whatever weird, unique life we

[00:29:45] That's the beauty

[00:29:46] The more weirder and unique and specific to you, the better. If everyone lived that way, the world would be incredible. It would be an incredible place. There are things that would be created that we can't even imagine right

[00:29:59] That's the vision, a life of authenticity driven by individuals connected by that individuality. There's a thread that connects all of us. But it's driven by the seed and spark of life within each of us. That is not to be sacrificed. By the greater good that is nonsense. Anything that sacrifices. The individual for the greater good is not good. The individual is the ultimate greater, good understanding our potential and what lives within us and expressing that is the ultimate service we can provide the world because within that authenticity,

[00:30:35] Are the solutions to the problems of the world that we face today. I can promise you that. There are solutions that live within each of us. If we only have the courage. And audacity. To make the leap. Be audacious. The world is teaming with possibilities. There's so much opportunity today because of the

[00:30:57] Right now, what we're doing, the fact that I can do this, I'm producing a podcast alone with software, a mic right here, and I'm distributing it globally. People around the world listen to this episode, this podcast that is nuts. That was impossible 20 years ago, without a massive budget and all of these things, we don't need any of that. Now the internet has completely transformed the potential of our world.

[00:31:23] It can be used for bad or it can be used for good. That will be our choice. The outcomes of the world that we create will be dependent upon the decisions that we make today. And the endless possibilities that are available to us are only possible through our authentic self. And that relationship comes from within it is not driven from outside of ourselves. And so part of that challenge is combating the external beliefs that we have been programmed with.

[00:31:53] And defining the difference between who we truly are and then parsing out those things that are not aligned with who we are and what we desire to be. Rooting out. The heaviness, the things that are not who So much of the work when we're just Is removing the burdens, the heaviness, the darkness, the pain.

[00:32:14] And we do that through empathy and understanding and learning about who we are from within.

[00:32:19] So with that being said, y'all I think I'm gonna go ahead and wrap the episode. It felt good doing a free flowing episode like that, of my own planning itaround last episode, I'm going to do another episode on porn and porn usage. Be more organized about it. And I'll continue to improve upon the

[00:32:35] And how the show's going. I hope you're enjoying it. I thoroughly enjoy this process. It's so much fun. Writing and connecting and creating. That's why I want you to do the same thing. There's so much fulfillment in this work. When we align with who we are. So with that being said, with that being said,

[00:32:52] Until next time y'all.

[00:32:54]