Grit: The Key to a Fulfilled Life | Ep. 28
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[00:00:42] Hello and welcome everyone. I'm your host, Brandon Ward. Back at it with another episode of order within episode number 28 today.
[00:00:55] Grit. The key to a fulfilled life. So we're going to be talking about grit. What it is. Grit as a skill.
[00:01:07] Things that are worth having are hard. Goals and grit how they go together. Examples of grit and culture. And then finally how we can go about developing
[00:01:19] Grit is one of those things for me, personally, that I learned about later in life. That I'm thankful I have. Because it's been the key differentiator. And a lot of reasons on how I've been able to make progress in my life in the various areas, relationships, business. Friendships.
[00:01:40] With my writing, my creativity, all of this stuff, all the. Growth that has come.
[00:01:48] In recent years. Has really been due to. Learning grit and leveraging grit and And it was a new concept for me. I read a book about A few years back. And it really, it really stuck with me. Around. What it was and how common it was in. The life of quote-unquote successful people. It was for me, understanding what grit was, how to leverage in.
[00:02:18] In our lives. Made a huge difference because I realized that people who were successful in our world are not necessarily successful because they have some sort of natural talents or abilities. Some of them obviously do. But more so it's their commitment to success and the vision that they hold within them that determines their.
[00:02:39] Outcomes over time. And a key component of that is grit. The ability to grind things out when it's hard.
[00:02:49] So it's really a misunderstood treasure of success. Because without grit, there's really no way to build something meaningful and beautiful in the world because things that are meaningful and beautiful. Will most likely be very difficult to build. Because a lot of the world resist things like that.
[00:03:10] And so there's going to be a massive need for us. To push through a lot of resistance, a lot of internal resistance, a lot of familial resistance and a lot of societal resistance. So there's going to be resistance all along the path of building and creation. That's an inevitable truth that comes with building and creating in this world.
[00:03:32] That's why so few actually do it or stick through things is because it's hard and it requires a lot of time and effort and consistency to build something of meaning in this world and have it last and stick. I have.
[00:03:49] Attempted. Online businesses, learning skills, doing many things that a couple of things now. There was misalignment in terms of some of the activities that I was doing. As an example, I tried to learn software development and web development. I did that for a few months. I was in a really great program that I think would work for people that are into that. But I just personally did not like the work itself. That's what became apparent to me as I was going through a lot of the exercises and projects.
[00:04:17] As I just didn't like the work itself of coding. So I gave that up. But. Had I started and continued on my blogging path, which I've had a desire to do for several years. Now, if I had stuck with this back in 2014, I would be almost 10 years in at this point. And who knows where that But I didn't, because I didn't have much grit at the time. I was very emotionally unstable. I was very wounded. I've talked about that before.
[00:04:45] On the show. And so my wounds, my emotional baggage was weighing me down and preventing me from doing a lot of things in the world that I had desires to do. So I gave up a lot of things. I lacked grit. So learning about grit, understanding what grit was and understanding that it was a key trait that many successful entrepreneurs and people in our world have.
[00:05:08] I wanted to develop more of it and learn more about what it is. And really. Grit is the ability to eat shit. In support of a vision that we hold near and dear to our hearts. Without vision without a aim that we're driving towards. Grit can be very possible V be very difficult to develop. It can be very difficult to call upon because if our heart's not in, and if we don't have a vision, we're really just doing painful things for the sake of doing them.
[00:05:45] That's more of a sadist approach. That's not what I'm advocating for here, but if we have vision, if we have goals, if we have something that really matters to us a ton.
[00:05:55] Grit will be a key piece of building that thing and bringing it to life because there's going to be moments on the journey of building and creating. Where everything sucks. Nothing seems to be working. It feels like nothing's getting seen, or there's no validation for your ideas, or you're just simply struggling with no growth. And you're unsure of where to go next.
[00:06:21] And you're just blindly following whatever it is it's pulling you forward inside It's a very scary place to be. But without that vision to pull you forward during those moments and without the understanding of grit and the ability to apply grit. We're going to suffer and we most likely won't achieve the goals that we have. So understanding that first and foremost, grit is a skill that we can learn and develop. Some people just like.
[00:06:52] They have certain talents and abilities. Some people have more grit than others. They start out at a different level and that's true for everything. Some people have better writing skills, better thinking skills, better speaking skills, artistic skills, singing skills, et cetera. There are people that have natural born talents.
[00:07:12] But the ones that differentiate themselves are those who dedicate themselves to. Developing those skills, those talents, those innate abilities. And sticking with So grit is one of those things. And if you're going to master any skill, whatever that may be, grit will be a crucial component of it because again, the process of flat.
[00:07:35] Plateauing flat-lining stagnating. Is a part of the growth process. Growing is very much erratic up and down highs and lows, peaks and valleys. All the way. Along that growth journey. So understanding that mentally. Can help us embrace the process.
[00:07:59] And understanding that grit is the ability, the skill that we can develop that makes that process easier. That allows us to lean into that discomfort that allows us to lean into that pain and find the. The strength to carry on because that vision that we hold in, our hearts matters. And we know that in these dark times,
[00:08:22] Pushing through and alignment with our vision, understanding that we're working to bring that to life. This is a natural part of that process. Therefore, we are going to struggle. Therefore we can press on because this is actually proof that we are progressing. These plateaus. Flat lines, frustrations.
[00:08:44] Are proof. We're progressing and developing. So understanding first and foremost, that grit is a skill that can be developed. It's very much like a muscle that can be strengthened, but if you've gone to the gym before. Or you've started any training program. If you were out of shape for a while and you get back into exercising, the initial time period is hard. It sucks. It's a lot of work. Your body's sore. You're tired. You don't have the energy. You're hoping you do. If you just quit because it's hard, you're never going to get into shape. You're never going to progress.
[00:09:18] But if you push through those painful times, You start to get in better shape. You start to find that your stamina is increasing and that your strength is growing and that going to the gym and doing your exercise program becomes easier over time because you've developed a capacity Grit is the same way.
[00:09:38] And it's the key ingredient for making change without it. It's going to be nearly impossible to bring to life. Anything that you envision in So understanding first and foremost, that grit is a skill that can be developed. It's a critical component to change. And then it's our responsibility to develop that.
[00:09:55] That skill, that muscle of grit.
[00:10:00] And it comes down to the fact that things worth having are hard. Anything that we want in life is most likely going to be very hard to get if it was worth having. And it was something that we truly desired. Everyone would have it. There would be if there wasn't, if there wasn't resistance and if there wasn't struggle to achieve that thing that we desire so deeply, then everyone would have it and it would not be.
[00:10:27] That powerful or that special. The fact that things are hard and challenging and difficult.
[00:10:35] Is validation for the vision that we're building in many ways. Now, again, That a crucial, this is why self-awareness is so important to understand who we are, what we enjoy, what we desire, if you're still figuring those things out. If you're very young in your life. That's okay. The way you go about learning that though is you try things out, you experiment.
[00:10:57] You test out different. Activities hobbies interests. And you try them for a period of time. You push through the pain points. Everything that we start. That's new. We'll have a period of suffering and struggling and lack of clarity. Regardless of the skill. This is where grit comes into play. We can push through those early moments, but if we're finding that, we just don't like the process itself that we've given something enough time.
[00:11:24] As in the example that I gave earlier with coding. I did that for three months. I was working every evening. After my job, doing projects, working on the weekends, really putting in a lot of time and energy into that. And I just know it got worse, even as I learned more and began to understand more about what development was.
[00:11:46] My joy, my. Love for the process decreased. I did not find passion and pleasure in the process. So I booted it. That's a key distinction there, right? Grit doesn't mean suffering endlessly. There needs to be alignment with who we are and what we desire. That's where grit comes into play. It's beneficial to be leveraged.
[00:12:07] When its used towards a vision that we desire. So if we don't know what that is, and we have to take the time to go through experimenting with different processes, different activities, to learn the things that. We enjoy and over time, those things become more clear. And so for me, Doing this blog, writing on Twitter, creating a WordPress site, which I've now.
[00:12:28] Got live, but I've yet to share the URL, which will be coming soon. I'm very excited about that. So that process though, the process of creation of writing, of planning, these episodes, that's something that I truly desire and enjoy deeply. So you've got to find those things for yourself, right? That's why, but this work of creating building expressing is very hard.
[00:12:49] It's challenging. That's what makes it rewarding though? The difficulty and sticking it out and pushing through the pain and eventually achieving the vision that we have in our mind is what makes this process so insanely amazing. But it's not going to be. Enjoyable. If what we want is easy to obtain, anyone can attain it.
[00:13:11] And. Many others are doing the same thing. There's not a lot of joy in that.
[00:13:17] So the things that we want will most likely be very hard and the bigger the vision, the more difficult it's going to be. So when we understand that we can embrace the suck, we can realize that there's going to be a lot of time where we don't know what the hell we're doing, where the hell we're going, or how the hell we're going to get there.
[00:13:35] We're figuring it out.
[00:13:37] That's the beauty though, again, embracing the suck, realizing that that's exactly the point. We don't know where we're going. We don't know how we're going to do it. And we don't know what we need to learn to do it and to get there, but by persisting through, because we are aligned with that vision that we carry within us, we can embrace the pain of the process and move forward.
[00:13:59] Understanding that clarity will come. Outcomes will come. The skills that we need will be learned. The direction that we need will be revealed. It may take years sometimes depending on where we're starting and where we're trying to go, because the difference of where we are today. The vision that we have for our future.
[00:14:19] Is the gap that we have to fill by building and taking action in our lives. If the vision is big and where we are today is very, very far away from that vision that in-state, then there's going to be a massive gap that we're going to be clearing. And bridging. Through this process, grit will be critical.
[00:14:38] To bridge that gap.
[00:14:41] And like I said earlier, the bigger that vision, the more pain it's going to most likely be. So whatever you're trying to build in the world, whatever it may be. The bigger, the vision you hold, the more challenging and difficult, it will be. The more resistance you will feel from yourself. From others around you and society in and of
[00:15:02] Things around us. Resist change. Everywhere. So our duty as Changemakers, as creators, as visionaries is to press through these things. That's where grit comes into play. Grit is the reminder that the pain is suffering. The struggle that we feel. The. It's the resistance between where we are today and the vision that we hold. It's our duty to rise through that. Go through that.
[00:15:29] That challenge. And we do that by leveraging grit. That's what allows us to lean into that pain. To say, I know that this discomfort is bringing me closer to the vision that I hold and I value the vision that I hold more than I value my comfort of now.
[00:15:46] Grit is our ability to displace comfort now for the vision that we hold in the future, because we know that that state will be greater than anything we can imagine or experience today. There is no cheap dopamine that can give us the fulfillment that we are achieving by building our vision. Nothing can compete with that.
[00:16:09] The majority of the world may get caught in those cycles of cheap dopamine, but we will not. That's the difference. That's how we separate ourselves. In the world. And that's how our goals and grit tie
[00:16:22] They go hand in hand. The goals and vision that we have and grit tie together because without grit, we will not achieve the visions that we hold. And therefore, the goals that we have will be really irrelevant if we're not willing to develop and leverage grit. In this process because grit is critical to the process of growth.
[00:16:42] And. Goal achievement.
[00:16:46] So if you have a vision, if you have goals, which most of you most likely do. If you have a beautiful vision for your life, you're going to need to develop grit. And learn to develop it and understand what it is as we're talking about it and start to feel it in your life. You can start to develop it and leverage it and you can notice it in yourself.
[00:17:07] So let's look at a couple of examples of, of pop culture, examples of grit. I love to do this just because I think it's a great way to go about. Sharing what examples are in. Creative formats, film books, et cetera. So the first one, one of my favorites to always go to Harry Potter. Harry Potter.
[00:17:29] Exemplifies And his long and painful path to defeating Voldemort. And. Avenging the deaths of his family and the loved ones that he has in his life. That spanned over several books, several movies. Harry starts as a young boy and traverses into adulthood. And in that process is a lot of pain, a lot of suffering.
[00:17:54] But Harry was gritty as hell. And he never gave up. He never quit because he knew in his heart that this is what he needed. What he must do. It was a vision that he had for his life. The place that he had on his purpose on earth. And what he must do. To achieve that vision. And so he grinded through it. Sometimes that pushed away the people that he cared about the most.
[00:18:17] Him and Ron Weasley comes to mind. Their friendship was on the rocks. At certain points during these stories because of the vision that Harry was pursuing the need to avenge his family and to defeat this great evil in the world. So it was his vision. For aligning his love for being a witch. Being a sorcerer.
[00:18:39] And.
[00:18:41] Advocating for what Hogwarts represented. And destroying. What Voldemort and his group represented because that group represented the destruction of all things. Good magic, the wonderful things in life.
[00:18:57] It only wanted to deploy the dark arts and to destroy all the good in the world. So Harry persisted with grit. Through that story to achieve. His end game, which was defeating Voldemort, this great enemy to allow for the world to flourish. And for magic to thrive again. That's a wonderful mission and vision to hold.
[00:19:18] But it's not possible without grit without that tenacity to press on, regardless of what people are saying around you, that's the difference he went on, even though many people around him who mean well and care about him deeply were telling him not to do certain things and he did it anyway. He persisted anyway.
[00:19:37] That kid was always breaking the rules and getting in trouble and thank goodness he was because it progressed things forward and made it possible. Him and his crew to do the things that they did by defeating Voldemort.
[00:19:50] Another example, William Wallace and Braveheart.
[00:19:56] Truthfully, I can't think of a more grittier way to go then that story. William Wallace is the ultimate believer in personal freedom. He gives his life. For that vision for that desire and belief in personal freedom. They're literally torturing him. And. Cutting like castrating him. And he's screaming. Freedom.
[00:20:19] In that process, never surrendering. That's an insane amount of grit. Now I know that these are fictional stories, but we can learn from them. We can apply these principles in our lives to understand like what I'm meaning when I'm talking about these things, this is the type of, he has a vision. He has a passion, a belief, a deep seated belief that he's willing to give his life for. And he does.
[00:20:42] In support of that vision, that mission. That is grit at insane levels to give your life. In accordance to the vision that you carry in your heart. And sacrifice yourself. So you can ensure that that vision carries on. I mean, that is insane. And it's beautiful. It's a beautiful way to live, live that deeply with that much passion and that much purpose that you're willing to give your life for it.
[00:21:11] And he does. And he's literally giving, he's literally fighting for freedom until the very last breath and he's screaming it at the top of his lungs. When they're expecting him to cower and submit and quit. He still refuses. And he carries That is a beautiful, beautiful story and beautiful example of grit and giving her life for things that matter most to you.
[00:21:36] And for him for William Wallace, it was freedom.
[00:21:40] All right. Then last here.
[00:21:43] One of my favorite movies of all time, the never ending story, Atreyu. And the key central figures. In the story there.
[00:21:51] All odds are stacked against him at the very beginning of the movie. Atreyu is. Shared with him that he's the only person. In the land that can defeat the nothing that is overtaking, not, not Narnia.
[00:22:12] Fantasia.
[00:22:13] The nothing is basically humans losing their imagination, their belief in beautiful, wonderful things. That's what it's representing. Like movies are beautiful because they represent humanity and all things that we do. Braveheart is an example of our desire for freedom. To express ourselves to be true to who we are.
[00:22:34] Harry Potter is about doing what's right. Doing good things. Having a vision for humanity and fighting against those things to try and destroy. What is all, what is good in the world?
[00:22:45] The never ending story capitulates, the power of our imagination and the magic, the belief that we carry as children and what can happen when we carry on that belief That wonder into our life, our adulthood, and It's important that we fight for that in that movie exemplifies that the never ending story is effectively our imagination that we carry within each of us. And so as humanity was moving away
[00:23:12] Fantasia was dying. And so Atreyu, the key character in the story here. Is tasked with defeating this nothing. The, in the guy that's telling him this, he's like, there's, he Well, what are the odds of succeeding? He's like pretty much none. You're pretty much guaranteed that you're not going to succeed.
[00:23:33] And you can't ask for help and no one can go with you. To help you. So, not only is it pretty much impossible. You also can't ask anyone for help and we can't help you either, actually. So, and all of us depend on you to do that. And it's up to you if you choose to take the mission or not, but most likely you're not going to do it.
[00:23:51] He still in spite of all that says, yeah, you know what, let's I'm going to do it. I'm going to go
[00:23:58] Because he has this deep seated belief in. Fantasia. The beautiful world that he lives in. He wants to save the things that mattered to him. He's willing to give his life for it. Even knowing the possibility, the probability is slim to none. He still acts. That is a gritty action. And then you, you look at the movie throughout and.
[00:24:22] From the beginning. He is. Facing. One challenge after the other. Just. Impossible. Impossible. Impossible. One thing after the next one thing, after the next, he loses his And then he has to travel 10,000 miles from where he is, and he has no way to do that. Then he has to pass through these crazy.
[00:24:45] Gate t hat determines whether you're worthy or not based on your own relationship with yourself. You want to talk about some deep, powerful insights from a psychological perspective that scene alone, where you have to walk through the gates. And the only way you get through it is if you believe in yourself enough, and it's a genuine acceptance of who you are, that's incredible.
[00:25:06] But that is grit. Atreyu exemplifies grit with his journey and his desire to press forward and to achieve his mission and save. Fantasia.
[00:25:21] It's a beautiful, wonderful story and Atreyu is a great example of what grit looks like and how we can apply in our lives. So when we look at. Films stories we can learn from these things. And so that comes down to how do we develop grit? How do we develop this as a skill and quite simply the first and foremost is.
[00:25:45] Just do more hard things. Get comfortable in discomfort, get comfortable, doing hard things, do more hard things. We have to push ourselves. Outside of our comfort zone. If we're uncomfortable doing something, then we pursue It's so easy to pursue comfort in today's world. And in fact, it's really kind of the key thing. That's keeping us from doing a lot of wonderful
[00:26:10] Is our desire to stay safe in the comfort zone.
[00:26:15] So leaning into discomfort, leaning into doing more hard things, allows us to develop that skill of grit. To press through things when we don't want to, when our desire for comfort is screaming, but our desire for our vision is stronger. This is how we work at those things. And we can do it bit by bit. It's in tiny little steps. We don't do this overnight.
[00:26:38] But small little things. Maybe it's starting. A cold shower process, where at the end of all your cold showers, you get the, Your back the lower part of your back and your butt. An ice cold water for 60 seconds. And you start to do that because you're going to scream. Internally, you're going to be screaming.
[00:26:58] About wanting to get out. This is how we develop that skill. Maybe it's an exercise program. Maybe it's a writing program. Maybe it's An art program where we're dedicating ourselves to, to creating on a daily basis. Whatever it is, whatever this, the things that we're drawn Commit to doing those things.
[00:27:18] Find. Push yourself into that discomfort.
[00:27:23] And understanding that the mindset behind this is built around the struggle, the pain, the challenge, the discomfort, when we know that that's part of the process to achieve what we desire, we can embrace it. Understanding that challenge discomfort is a part of that process. We can accept the mindset component of it and say, you know what? This is a part of the journey of where I'm going. I understand that I'm going to take this on. I'm going to push through what I'm feeling. I know that this is part of the journey to get to where I want to go. Struggle. Discomfort are actually signals that I'm on the path.
[00:27:56] So understanding the mindset behind this gives us the ability to embrace what we're facing right in front of us. Mindset is crucial for all of life.
[00:28:06] We have to remind ourselves often that things take time to, I think something and I'm guilty of this hugely. I expect things to happen much faster than their required. Things take time, the bigger, the vision, the longer it's going to take. And so we have to be committed to the long path, understand that this is a long game we're playing.
[00:28:25] If we're willing to play the long game. We can. Out. Last.
[00:28:32] Failure failure will eventually quit. It always does. It always does, but most people quit before failure does and therefore they fail. Failure wins.
[00:28:43] So if we stick out and we last, we understand this is a long game we're playing. We can outlast failure. And eventually luck will come to us because that's how we create our luck is we never give That's another piece that. They talk about in. Never ending story. Like how we create our luck by. Participating.
[00:29:03] You create your luck. You give yourself a chance for luck to find you when you're out on the journey in the adventure. That doesn't happen when you're safe at home. Luck finds you when you're out in the arena. Playing the game. Mixing it up. That's where it happens.
[00:29:20] And I think ultimately in order for this stuff to stick is this must live in your heart. You must have a vision that's really anchored into your heart and spirit. It must be something that you yearn for, that you can't live without. That's something that I realized too, is I'm doing this now. Is, I can't live without sharing these ideas, these thoughts, these things. I can't live my life and not share this
[00:29:43] And so because of that, the pain of not doing it is worse than the pain of
[00:29:50] And that's something that I've come to realize is that often those things that we yearn for. It's more painful to not do them. So if there's something lingering, nagging, yearning, bugging you all the time that you can't kick. It's most likely tied up to your purpose, your mission. In your heart So we got to make sure and, and do the work of self exploration to understand that.
[00:30:13] The destination and the journey are in our heart. And where we are going, that vision that we have must come from within us so that we can carry it on and sustain it. Because if it's someone else's vision, We won't be able to sustain These things come from within us. It's the seed that sparks all of us to build and create in the world. And all of it is inner.
[00:30:35] That's the dichotomy of it is. In order to build out into the world, we must find who we are from within, and then bring that into the world. It's like we go into ourselves and we find that hidden treasure, and then we bring it out into the world. That's the beautiful journey of self-expression. And creating in this crazy world, we call earth.
[00:30:58] So grit is absolutely a skill. These are some ways that you can develop it really. At the end of the day, it's embracing the mindset that it's a long journey that discomfort and pain and struggle is a part of the path. And that doing hard things. Spending more time and discomfort. Is valuable.
[00:31:16] It builds strength of character. It builds grit. It builds tenacity. And it makes us stronger humans when we do this.
[00:31:23] So there's a lot of value when we take the time to develop this skill. It's one of the biggest, it's one of the most valuable and rewarding skills that I've developed in my life. It's fun. I'm seeing my wife develop it more too. She's been building out her blog and really grinding her ass off with very little to show for in terms of validation. And she's now starting to get
[00:31:45] Like seven months in, but that's the beautiful thing is it's takes time. And grinding and grinding and grinding, pressing through these pain points. And I'm not talking about wearing ourselves thin to where we're not caring for ourselves. That's not at all what I'm talking about. We have to do all this in balance. Understanding again, this is a long game.
[00:32:03] Taking 30 minutes a day, five days a week is far better than cramming 10 hours a day of three months and quitting.
[00:32:12] Doing an hour a day. For 10 years is far better than 12 hour days for six months. Like it's not even close. So small start small, small bits, build the habits and grow it over time. That's the game we're playing the long game Grit is a key component. To living a fulfilled life. All right, y'all, that's all I got for this week's episode.
[00:32:37] Hoping you're digging the content. If you are, feel free to drop me a line, you can reach me on Twitter. You can also email me direct there's links all over the place. I'm going to be getting my website up soon. I'll be sharing that as well. So with that being said until next time y'all.
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