Podcast Transcript | Ep. 75

Navigating life hardships and personal growth with Ben Albert

[00:00:00] Brandon Ward: Hello, and welcome to Order Within, navigating a world of endless chaos and crisis. Many of us are experiencing inner turmoil, insecurity, anxiety, fears, and isolation. These feelings are only being amplified by new cycles social media, and never ending political madness. How do we find our way out of the chaos?

[00:00:24] How do we find strength within ourselves? How do we find meaning in a world driven by materialism? These questions and many more I aim to answer on the show. My goal is to be a trusted guide on your journey to selfhood. May you find what you seek.

[00:00:44] Hello and welcome everyone. I'm your host, Brandon Ward, back with another episode of Order Within. Got a solid guest today. you know, I don't even know what we're gonna get into yet. I have the feeling we're gonna touch a wide variety of topics, just what I've learned about you and your [00:01:00] background. So today we have with us Ben Albert.

[00:01:04] He's the host of Real Business Connections. He also owns and operates a digital marketing agency, Bert Marketing

[00:01:15] Ben Albert: Yes, sir.

[00:01:16] Brandon Ward: So Ben, welcome to the show, brother.

[00:01:18] Ben Albert: Brandon Ward, I'm excited to be here with you. I don't know what we're gonna talk about, but you're real, you're raw, so I, I do know the listener's gonna gain a ton of value.

[00:01:27] Brandon Ward: I appreciate that, man.

[00:01:28] Well, that's the goal here. And I think that's, that's when we initially talked, felt like the big thread, that's really for me, Ben, like when I'm connecting with people, Looking to talk to interesting people who are, who are into mindset, who are, and you talk to a wide variety of people on your show, which is great.

[00:01:44] Not just, it's a, it's a business focused podcast, but you talk to a lot of different people, entrepreneurs, wellness specialists, behavior specialists, which is what I really appreciate about you. And you just seem like an authentic dude. And I think in the world that we live in, [00:02:00] authenticity goes a long way for me.

[00:02:02] And I think it goes a long way for a lot of people now, right? As we kind of get into this weird, people are starting to pick up that things aren't what they appear to be. Right? and almost everything. Um, so I'm excited, dude. I think, so Ben, you've, when we talked, I've got some notes from our first conversation

[00:02:21] Ben Albert: Cool

[00:02:22] Brandon Ward: and some of the things that we talked about that I thought was interesting.

[00:02:25] I'm just gonna jump in 'cause I, I think, you know, we, and we'll at the end of what, at the end of the show, we can talk about what you do obviously, and, and I'm sure it's gonna come up throughout the show, but,

[00:02:33] Ben Albert: that stuff's boring. Anyways, let's, let's, let's help change some lives. And I'm always here to serve, but I'm, I'm not here to talk about myself. I'm just here to bring value in.

[00:02:42] Brandon Ward: I love that dude. Well, and that's exactly why you're here. 'cause I, that's the same way I feel about the show. Um, it's kind of easy to, you can get kind of in the, the rudimentary boring details. And then you're really just getting into the, I think getting into the meat of potatoes, of, of self-development, self-mastery.

[00:02:58] Because ultimately, you [00:03:00] know, you run a business podcast, but, and there's practical things you can talk about. There's a lot of things you can talk about. But in my mind, man, the, the human, the, the spiritual being, whatever you wanna say. Like, if we don't nurture ourselves, man, it's really hard to do anything at a high level, at least at a sustained high level for a sustained period of time.

[00:03:20] And so when you think about authenticity, Ben, like what does that mean to you man?

[00:03:27] Ben Albert: Yeah. Whew. That's a big

[00:03:28] Brandon Ward: Uh, right out box, dude.

[00:03:31] Ben Albert: Um, 'cause there's a million ways we can take it. But at the core, it starts with who are you not, what do you do? Or why do you do it? Who are you at the core? Like, what is your purpose? And a lot of us don't quite understand that. I don't even know how to answer that question sometimes.

[00:03:53] Who are you? Like just a human being. I'm just a living, breathing, blessed human being, [00:04:00] trying to figure stuff out. But who are you? And, and a lot of who we are and who we become is developed at a very, very young age before we even realize it. You know, looking at mentors, whether it's family members or peers, or a teacher, professor looking at mentors in our world.

[00:04:20] But also looking at antagonists in our world. In that same vein, it could be a family member. It for me, I had an alcoholic father that loved the hell out of me, but I learned a lot of negative things through some of his lifestyle. And you take these mentors and then you take these kind of antagonists in some way or form.

[00:04:43] My father wasn't the antagonist, but flaws in your world. And we build value sets at a very young age, whether we realize we're doing it or not. And without giving into any, you know, li every single little detail, but like connection and a sense of [00:05:00] belonging is very important to me. Growth mindset and really developing wisdom is very important to me.

[00:05:07] And I used to think it was fun because I was a party animal. Love music, love camping, but really fulfillment is what I realized. It's not fun, but fulfillment in life. Is really important to me. And these are things that I developed at a very young age, and they're at a core of who I am. And now that I've done a little soul seeking to understand that these values are at the core of who I am, when I show up for the podcast, for this interview, for a marketing message, or what I do in this world, I make to, I, I ask myself and I remind myself, is what I'm doing in alignment with those big three?

[00:05:47] And if it's not, it's easy to say no to it. Am I, am I connecting, bringing a sense of belonging? Is this fulfilling? Am I growing? If not, it's easy to say no to it. So authentically [00:06:00] starts with who are you? Not a sales tactic. I mean, all you lead with V vulnerability, you get vulnerability back. That is a scientifically based truth, but it's not about the tactic.

[00:06:14] It's just about leading with who you are. So you can magnetize people similar to you or need that message and push away people that weren't meant to serve you or be with you. So it really just starts with who you are at the core. And what I just said is authentically me, Brandon, and the listener, everybody out there is gonna have a slightly different story and a slightly different slant and understanding on what authenticity means to them.

[00:06:43] That Dude, I love that. And it's also been a reflection of you and the work that you've done and just feeling comfortable in your own skin. Like you, you, that was something that stood out to me when we met. I, I love your content too. And, and, you know, we're both podcast guys. You know, we're running podcasts, which is obviously cool, but [00:07:00] there's, there's a humility that you bring that I think is, is rare in that sense.

[00:07:04] You love to learn, and it sounds like that humility may have been driven by some of the hardships that you experienced when you were younger. I feel like that can, if we have challenging situations in our family life early on, and we don't have a safe environment, so to speak. Now, I'm not, I don't know your father, I'm not, you know, this, I'm not trying to, to, to downsize what he did or what your, the family life.

[00:07:29] But those, the reality is, is that humans are flawed. All of us are flawed. Nobody is perfect. Nobody has it figured out, just like you.

[00:07:36] said at the beginning, just trying to figure it out. Right. But when we get, when we . When we have hardships, especially early on, it kind of sets the tone for our world in a lot of ways, doesn't it?

[00:07:47] The way we view things, the way we interact things, and I think I appreciate about you, is it's easy to go in a shell and push away the world and, and kind of go into fight mode and never nurture that inner, [00:08:00] even those pain, that pain that we feel because what our, our, our beauty and our expression and our authenticity comes through engaging with that hurt and nurturing that side so we can heal and allow ourselves to really fully bloom and blossom in the world.

[00:08:15] It's being vulnerable is hard for a lot of people, isn't it

[00:08:19] Ben Albert: Oh, it's, it's super hard and, and one of the ways, when we first met, I listened to your episode, I'm not gonna redo it. You did a great job on toxic positivity. And there's science that shows that optimistic people often fail under pressure because they think everything's gonna go great and everything's gonna be positive, and they haven't looked the deep truth in the eyes and made friends with it.

[00:08:46] Not every moment's gonna be great. Not every moment's gonna be perfect. That's part of why I shifted my value from fun to fulfillment, because not every moment's gonna be fun, but can I look at that ? [00:09:00] Dark moment, dark time that struggle in the eye making my friend and move on from it. Or am I gonna, uh, uh, not a big deal and move on, you know, and, and never actually address it.

[00:09:11] So I, I, I think that episode you did a great job on toxic positivity, but yeah, man, it's, it's, life isn't perfect, and that's part of the beauty in it all.

[00:09:21] Brandon Ward: It's, it's interesting you bring that up and I love that you did because I think we get in this space, we we're in this world where . You know, image is everything you're portraying. You're a persona out. Now, we all.

[00:09:32] do this. All of us have personas that we present to the world. You and I are are business professionals.

[00:09:37] We own businesses, so we're presenting ourself to the world in a way that relates to those things. So we have to do that in some fashion, but if we do those things, disregarding who we are from within, it can cause a lot of heartache and a lot of pain. And I think the challenge with toxic positivity is our power comes from embracing that darkness, that [00:10:00] suffering, those things that we have.

[00:10:00] And you, and you said, I love the, the shift from fun to fulfillment because I spent a good portion of my life chasing fun and it wasn't fulfilling. And, and there's a cost to that. You may get a hit initially from that fun high that you're experiencing, but over the long run, man, if it's only fun that you're pursuing, There's a void that you fill within your soul.

[00:10:22] And, and to me that's a mature move to make that move from fun to fulfillment, particularly in our world where it is an endless game of distraction. There's, I mean, if, whether you have a family or not, whatever it may be, but dating, video games, sports, all this stuff. And don't get me wrong, I love sports. I play fantasy football.

[00:10:43] I love D F Ss. I love doing a lot of these things, Right.

[00:10:47] But if that's all we have, if we're constantly chasing the high, the next thing, the next thing, then it just, it, it's a treadmill. That's that kind of hedonic treadmill that we get on. And I think a lot of people fall in [00:11:00] that trap, not realizing it, and something that I just, it's hard to get to a point.

[00:11:08] To where you can just feel good about who you are. And when you have that, when you finally feel that experience and you start to know that in yourself, you kind of wanna shout it from the rooftops in a lot of ways, dude, that inspired me to do my podcast, but it, I also know that it can be for people that aren't there.

[00:11:25] It can almost be like, well, f you man. You good for you. You feel good about yourself, or you feel good about your life, or whatever it may be. But I think, I think a lot of that comes down to is, is really leaning into the suck, leaning into the hard things, leaning into the tough pieces because our, our joy and fulfillment and fun do that come from those tough parts of our life.

[00:11:46] And if we ignore them or discard them, it's almost impossible to really find lasting fulfillment.

[00:11:52] Ben Albert: Couldn't agree. I couldn't agree more, man. I mean, confidence and fulfillment. Anything comes from memories of X. [00:12:00] So it depends on the the category, but your confidence is gonna come from memories of winning when times have been tough and it wasn't that good, but you did it anyways. That's where your confidence is gonna come from.

[00:12:14] Your fulfillment's gonna come from a memory of not feeling good, but getting over that hump and learning a lesson from it. So the confidence, the fulfillment, the success, the resilience generally comes from a memory of the time when you had a lack of it, but then you conquered it. If we never look at the lack, if it never occurred, if we never conquer it, we're gonna have low self-esteem.

[00:12:44] And then we'll project our insecurities upon other people. And I'm not a psychologist. This is just the shit that I've learned, dude, I.

[00:12:52] Well, and it's, I, dude, you see it everywhere too, right? Like it that I something that when, and the cool thing about it [00:13:00] is when you start to explore what's happening inside yourself, particularly the hard things, the, the challenges, the pain that you may feel or what you've been carrying with you, once you start to understand that in yourself, you start to see it in everyone like everywhere.

[00:13:16] And you, you come to realize that some people may be great at very specific things. They may run successful companies, they may have tons of money, whatever it is. They may have these external things that we tend to value as a society, but if they're not really honoring that inner peace, that will become a prison for them at some point in their life no matter what.

[00:13:37] And, and I think that's the thing that is hard for us to wrap our heads around is we often look at circumstances and we say, oh, if I made more money, I would be this. Or if I had this job, I would be that. Or if I had a partner, I would be happy. So on and so on. Now, having a great partner can absolutely bring fulfillment to your life.

[00:13:56] Having a job you love is a great thing to, to aim for and [00:14:00] strive for. But what do we do when we find ourselves not in those ideal situations to you, Ben, you, you nailed it, man. You have to face, you have to stare down your dragons, your darkness and, and move through those things so that you can find clarity around what that may mean.

[00:14:16] And to your point earlier, that's gonna be different for everyone. So it's, it's not to emulate what that person's doing, it's to reflect on their journey and say, you know what? I've got my own stuff I gotta deal with. I'm gonna get in there and find out what that means to me. And then bit by bit, start building and, and moving forward.

[00:14:35] It's a process, right?

[00:14:37] Ben Albert: Well, yeah, and, and let's use a specific person that you're looking at, you're emulating, and a lot of times they're just kind of . Faking it. They're not beyond, they're, they're posting their car, their girlfriend, they're making money, making you think they have more money than they do when they're really just a shitty person.

[00:14:55] Not every case, but let's say they are authentically [00:15:00] successful and they've accomplished it through learning a ton of stuff and making a lot of mistakes. They're still not any better than you. That business person isn't any better than you. They're just farther along and the trajectory of life, like not to go dark, but let's say they're 58 and rich, but they live to 60.

[00:15:21] And let's say you're 40 and broke and you live till 90. Maybe you got to rich later, but you lived longer, so let's not look at things so linear. Like we're all living our own journey here. No one's better than you. They're just farther along and you're not really better than anyone else. You are just a little bit farther along than those people.

[00:15:44] So, and when you look at that, and I wanna say one thing, 'cause you mentioned relationships, and I think this is a great example and, and I think it's a paradigm shift for a lot of people. I don't want a better half. I don't want a other half. I want a other [00:16:00] whole. I want to be whole and then co-align with someone else who's whole.

[00:16:06] I don't want anyone to come and save me. That's not gonna happen. So if we fill ourselves up, we realize that we're not there yet. We're constantly evolving. But if we can fill ourselves up, the relationship, the business, the success will come because we're a full cup. And then we don't have to look for an empty cup to cohabitate with.

[00:16:30] We look for another full cup, and then the two of us have plenty to share. So yeah, man, other half better, half no one's coming to save. Like all of it's, it's cute to say that someone's your better half, but they're your better half. Then you need to work on yourself as well. , you need to find someone who's equally as kick-ass as you are.

[00:16:52] dude, that's, that's spot on, man. And, and it's, there's so many of us, dude, I did this for many years of my life where I was wounded inside [00:17:00] and I was out searching for somebody to fill that void that I felt in myself. It wasn't until I realized that I was, what I was searching for. The, the, the things that I've been given, that nurturing, that love, that acceptance that I was seeking in another person was what I needed to do for myself, reflecting on who I was and what I was.

[00:17:19] And then we, we've, we become full and we can share, we can share the, the fullness. Dude, the, the oxygen mask reference is relevant, super relevant. Like if you, if you, and that's related to the emotions, the mental state. Like if you don't put your os oxygen mask on, you can't help people, man. It's just the reality of it.

[00:17:41] And I think . There's, and it's interesting too, I lived in California, Ben, I don't know if you know this or not, but I lived in California for almost 10 years. It's where I met my wife. Uh, we moved out in the Charlotte area in 20 20th of September. And the toxic positivity, the self-help groups, [00:18:00] that stuff is rampant in California.

[00:18:03] It's like a, an epicenter there, but so much of it is serving others is a way to just consistently negate your own sense of self. And that toxic positivity that you brought up earlier is a huge component of that. Like, you can't address any kind of negative feelings at all. And you've gotta always be, I'm the optimist one and I'm the happy one.

[00:18:24] And, and . There is data around being optimistic, but that doesn't mean we're oblivious to the hardships of life. In my mind, Ben, optimism is only sustainable when we recognize the darkness and, and some of those pain points. So I'm curious for you, when you, you're going on this self-discovery journey and it's never done right.

[00:18:45] We're never done. What was, what was kind of one big maybe inflection point for you as you were doing this work? Like, was it a work that you discovered? Was it someone that you were listening to? What kind of helped you shift to get [00:19:00] to where you are today?

[00:19:01] Ben Albert: Yeah, so , so many inflection points. But you know, I, I was a quiet kid most of my life. I was bullied. I wanted to be a basketball player, had I had a jersey for every single day of the week. Um, but I grew up to be five foot eight. So never, never had a, never had a future in basketball. And I was pushed around a lot and bullied and, you know, dad was drinking a lot.

[00:19:25] Mom had a neurological mental disorder. So kind of just felt like shy and like I didn't belong most of my life.

[00:19:32] Hmm,

[00:19:32] Ben Albert: And it ended up being a blessing because I got into some of that spiritual self-growth, personal development at a younger age than some, you know, I started kind of picking up my first couple self-growth books at the end of high school and into college.

[00:19:48] And, um, one, I'll give you two major inflection points. So one major one was, um, reading The Miracle Morning, and Hal Lro, Hal Elrod, the Miracle [00:20:00] Morning can go into every detail if you want, but the short version is he gives six habits for a crushing, like crushing moment to crush the day. And I started to initiate those six habits.

[00:20:13] Um, and then over time, you know, big transformations don't happen overnight. Over time I started to rewire my brain because I was rewiring my habits. Uh, treating my morning. I was winning the morning, so I would win the day. And I did this for years and years, almost 10 years. And the entire time I was doing all this stuff that was making me better, um, I was being in the music and entertainment industry, lots of late nights, lots of partying, a ton of drinking, and I had great mornings and I could speak a hot game, but after the morning, the rest of my day wasn't actually aligned with who I wanted to become.

[00:20:59] I would start [00:21:00] off great and then I'd smoke, weeded and then end up drinking all night. And then I wouldn't, I wouldn't sleep well. And then it was like, so you're, I'm doing one thing that's making me better, and then I'm doing one other thing that's making me bitter. And one out of the six parts of the Miracle Morning is affirmations.

[00:21:17] That's looking yourself in the mirror and affirming who you are and who you're becoming. Like, I'm good enough now and I'm only getting better. I'm an open channel for creative ideas. I act as if I already have what I want. It attracts happiness into my life. But I started to notice that when I did these morning affirmations, I was bloodshot.

[00:21:40] I was tired. I didn't believe myself, and I was wondering why my dreams weren't coming true. My affirmations weren't coming true. The reason they weren't coming true is because my actions were in disalignment with actually [00:22:00] getting to that level. So nothing against an affirmation, nothing against a vision board, nothing against a Smart bolt goal.

[00:22:06] Nothing against having big vision, but if your actions but day to day don't align with that, you'll never get there. So that was a big point, realizing that I had the knowledge, I had the strategy, I had the tactics. I knew the marketing tips, I knew the business tips, but I was never gonna get to that level if I wasn't the person that deserved to get to that level.

[00:22:35] Hmm.

[00:22:36] Ben Albert: that was probably the biggest inflection point. And I'm still going through it. Like I still make mistakes. I'm still not perfect, but acknowledging that I was the only reason I was failing, acknowledging that I was the one getting in the way. It wasn't you. It wasn't the world, it wasn't the economy, it was me.

[00:22:59] Then I could start [00:23:00] a new chapter in my life, but I had to reinvent the person, . That that was treating himself like crap, and none of that would've been possible if I was sunshine, rainbows, everything's good. I don't have problems. I'm just a little lacking money at this time. I had to look myself in my bloodshot eyes and kind of hate the man I used to be.

[00:23:21] It love him, but hate what he was doing and find a way to move forward. Does that all make sense?

[00:23:28] Totally. And it's very powerful story, Ben, and I love that you shared it because it it re, it . I think it expresses a lot of places where people get stuck. You know, we've, especially we're around the popularity of the Secret and a lot of the self-improvement and self-help. There's idea that you do the affirmations, you have your vision boards, you set your smart goals.

[00:23:47] Those are all external components though, and, and if they're not anchored to our actions on a daily basis that align with those things, it doesn't matter how much we do that we won't reach them to your point, because [00:24:00] you are saying one thing and out with your actions doing another. That's diverging the path.

[00:24:06] And it takes a lot of courage to look yourself in the face literally and be like, bro, you're fucking up. This isn't, if we're serious about the affirmations that we're doing and the goals that we have, we have a choice to make. We can either keep lying to ourself like we are in a way or make changes. And it's cool too, Ben, because you talked about. I think there's a big, there's a huge distinction between blame and ownership. I did a podcast on it around the difference, and you talk about ownership. You realize that you're at fault, you're responsible for what's happening, but you're not hammering yourself for doing it. You're not belittling yourself for making those decisions.

[00:24:46] It takes an adult. One thing that helped me a lot is viewing myself in many ways as a child and a parent all in one body. And so when we, if we think about ourselves as children, how would we address a child if he wasn't doing [00:25:00] behaviors or actions that would align him with the life or he or she with the life that she wants?

[00:25:04] We would sit down and we would do it in a loving way. We wouldn't criticize them and hammer, well, maybe some people would, but the, the idea is that we wanna do it in a loving way. Right.

[00:25:13] And so by taking ownership, , Of the actions that you were doing that were misaligned with where you wanted to go, you were able to take ownership and move forward from there because now you have the power.

[00:25:25] It's not, oh, I can't do this, or, oh, I'm just a, a party animal who's, who wants to drink all the time, or, I don't have any willpower, or I'm broke, or whatever, dude. Right. All the excuses we come up with, but, 'cause that's more blaming and that's more of a, a judgmental, critical vibe versus ownership and compassion and bit by bit changes.

[00:25:47] 'cause that is how it happens, dude. So I, I love that you shared that story. How so? How long, how long has that been, Ben, since you kind of had that moment?

[00:25:55] Ben Albert: Do I feel like I'm having it all the time. So

[00:25:59] [00:26:00] nice.

[00:26:00] Ben Albert: well, 'cause it, it's interesting. So when C O V I D hit was let go for my sales executive role for a marketing firm, didn't know what I was doing, ended up launching the podcast, launching the business, replace my income in a year, blows my mind, but . A lot happened all at once.

[00:26:18] And in that November of 2020, I took three months off of drinking entirely and was really clearheaded when I was launching my business and got a ton of momentum and kind of was a hermit to the world. I mean, I was on a ton of Zoom calls, but everybody was locked in 'cause of the pandemic. And then when the gates opened back up, I kind of got a little bit more into that party lifestyle.

[00:26:43] I was consuming alcohol, probably a 10th of what I used to back in my heyday, but once in a while it would get a little bit outta hand. And at the time of recording this, it's, it's only been six and a half weeks. I've completely sobered up [00:27:00] entirely again because I had a long weekend where I was tired at night and tired in the morning and I had one too many drinks.

[00:27:08] And I realized that I was, again, I'm not against drinking, I'm not against pot. I'm not against any of these things in moderation if they serve you. But I have a bad habit of leaning too deeply into it when I get comfortable. So I just quit drinking again. I hired a personal trainer at the end of the day, like money's important, but I'd give away all my money for good health.

[00:27:33] So why don't I just keep my health good today? So it's like we're talking. Less than two months ago, I made another shift, but every time I make a shift, at the very least, I'm shifting from a higher place than I did last time. 'cause the first few shifts literally, like just not like drinking or watching porn for a weekend was a huge accomplishment.

[00:27:59] And [00:28:00] as you get confidence that you can actually do these things, you have higher level problems. I still have problems, hence quitting drinking again. Like, I don't know if I'm gonna quit entirely. Who knows? Um, but, you know, I don't know, man. It's like, I'm still going through this right now. And part of the podcast and some of the writing I do and speaking I do is, is therapy to like document the journey, be as real as possible, but not be all sunshine and rainbows thinking that I'm evolved, like I'm still learning and adapting every freaking day.

[00:28:42] And, uh, hopefully this is a moment in history that like I hit the highest level. But again, man, I started drinking a little bit. Not too bad. Just quit. So I'm, I'm looking this in the eye all the time.

[00:28:54] That's, it's refreshing though, Ben, because I think that is part of it when we, when we can [00:29:00] recognize our demons, our dragons, whatever they may be, and know that they're always kind of there. Right. And we have to manage the relationship with them. You know, my wife is, uh, she's been Sober for several months now.

[00:29:15] She's gone in and out with the same kind of thing where, and it's not, but it's, it's for her. I, I don't have the, it's not challenging for me to have two beers and be done or have a glass of whiskey with a nice dinner and be done. Like I'm, I can do that. I get myself in trouble maybe once or twice a month where I'll have one too many when I'm out with friends that I haven't seen in a minute and I feel it the next morning.

[00:29:38] Right. But you gotta vibe with what is your thing or not. And to your point, it's moderation and understanding who we are. But those inflection points matter a lot. And it's gonna be different for each of us because. If the things help us become more of who we want to be, then it's okay. Like, dude, I'm a cannabis guy.

[00:29:57] I love cannabis. I love it, but I can't do it all [00:30:00] day. I can't do it. Like, it's more of a, like in the evening, that's what I wanna do. When I'm ready to relax and chill out, I'm gonna have a little bit and, and vibe out. But I, dude, I can't, I won't, if I were stoned right now, this interview would not be as good.

[00:30:13] You know what I mean? Like, it's, I'm not gonna be as here, I'm gonna be thinking about weird

[00:30:17] Ben Albert: it would be even more existential than it already is. Branded

[00:30:21] Exactly. It would be way too existential for that because try to keep, try to keep these topics grounded, man. Because it can't, it's, it's easy. And I know you know this Ben, to get in the EERs with a lot of this stuff because, uh, I, I, I love the high level components, but it's, it's how do we ground these things in our life?

[00:30:40] And I, and I love that you're sharing just your journey with drinking. The same thing with my wife. Shout out to my beautiful wife, both inside and out. You're the best. But the, it's, it's finding what works for you or doesn't. She's similar to you, Ben, like she's not sure if she's, she's like, I don't think I'll ever not drink again, but I just, I'm not, it's not [00:31:00] working for me.

[00:31:00] And even when she does it a little bit, it just disrupts her vibe the way she feels the next day. It sounds like similar to what, but the point is when we are able to be honest with ourselves, look ourselves in the mirror and reflect on things that might not be serving us, we can move forward. I also love that you brought up porn.

[00:31:20] Ben. I, I quit. I had no idea, dude, what, what porn was doing to me as an individual. I, I quit. It's been over four years now. I, I've, it's, it's really changed. Thanks, dude. I appreciate that. Um. But I didn't know until I learned about what it does to our brain and how our wires our brain, and how our brain literally can't distinguish between real humans and digital humans.

[00:31:45] Like it's so that really started and, and what happened, I was dating Ashley at the time. I was running a company in Toronto. I was traveling a ton, and I loved her. I wanted to be with her. I knew that it was the, she was, she was the girl for me. And [00:32:00] I knew it. It was, I just, I wanted to be with her, but I was struggling with these impulses, these sexual desires that I was randomly feeling about women that I literally had no interest in, and I couldn't understand why.

[00:32:13] Well, Once I started to learn about what porn does to our brain and how it basically trains us to, to seek novelty and, and partners outside of our relationship, I knew that that wasn't something that I was gonna be able to have like a kind of a touch and go relationship with. I, I had to nuke it and rip it outta my life because it just, it didn't work for me.

[00:32:34] And I, it's, I'm sensitive to it. So that's one of those things where I can ebb and flow maybe with alcohol a little bit more, but like porn I've come to learn is a full stop for me, man. And I think Ben, and, and we don't have to go deep into that, but, 'cause you brought it up, I think it's important. I don't think there's, men don't realize, man, how much that, that those things specifically can really harm them [00:33:00] in terms of their productivity, their focus, their fulfillment, their energy.

[00:33:04] Like, it's, it's wild. So, so have you gone in, like, have you explored some of that stuff, Ben, at all? Like.

[00:33:10] Ben Albert: Not much. Um, I don't think I can speak very intelligently on this category. I do know as a man that . Sexual desire, almost like rules the world in a sense from a very young age, whether it's sports or guitar or getting strong and fit or learning social skills, it's often for social validation, specifically from women.

[00:33:38] And anytime you can get that validation without the effort, you're crutching yourself.

[00:33:46] Oh

[00:33:46] Ben Albert: So if you can go on only fans and half the time you're not half the time, 99. I guess it depends on the size. I'm not an expert on this, but the big influencers on only fans, I understand this from my marketing [00:34:00] background.

[00:34:00] They have a team and the team is available 24 7. So you're speaking to a virtual assistant in the Philippines when you're drunk, having sexy time with them at three in the morning. And what is that gonna do? To your life force as a man? I can't speak to women 'cause it's different, but as a man, what's that gonna do to your life force that you no longer have to try to impress your wife, to impress that girl, to impress anyone around you?

[00:34:33] Not that you should have to try, you should just impress yourself. But the, all the validation you're getting is with nothing but a $10 subscription. That can't be good. And again, I'm not an expert on this, but just look at that from a rational perspective. That can't be good for a, for a man or any human for that matter.

[00:34:57] exact. Yeah, dude. And I think that's part of it as Well,[00:35:00]

[00:35:00] is you nailed it. It's, it's, it's cheap thrills in a lot of ways. It gives us kind of a hit, and that's what, that's another thing we don't understand is it's . Our brain looks at this very similar to how our brain reacts to high, like drug use, very similar to heroin usage.

[00:35:16] And, and this is all, what's Wild man, is they have data around all this stuff now. So it's, which is what's great about the time we live in, is there's almost a study for everything or a variety of studies where you can look at and see things that we've intuitively felt for a long time. Just what you were describing, Ben, like the, the life force component of a man without any of the science behind it just intuitively is like, that's not, this is kind of, this can't be good, this can't be long-term.

[00:35:45] Okay. For me as a man, and I think these studies and this research is just validating that now, but I, the, we don't have to go into the weeds on that 'cause I, it's very fascinating and, and the, there's a whole dark side to it when you think about the human [00:36:00] trafficking side and the relational side.

[00:36:01] There's like, it's, it's a lot. And I think. But I was telling Ashley this last night, you know, I was deep in, I had a politics channel for a couple years ago and, and I like, 'cause I care about our society. Yeah, dude. It's, it's, it's no fun. Politics are, uh, It was terrible. I was miserable doing it. Um, I had a, like, it was, it was great and also horrible at the same time.

[00:36:26] I grew very quickly, but then I realized, like I got into the whole, I experienced getting things banned and I got my, my my, I got my podcast booted completely off Spotify with

[00:36:36] Ben Albert: is that why you're on ck?

[00:36:38] That's why I'm a little sensitive to, to some of this stuff now because of my political experience. But . I was telling her last night that I've just come to realize the greatest way to change the world is to change ourselves and to live as who we are and be genuine and authentic in everything that we do.

[00:36:56] And if we bring that level of excellence to whatever [00:37:00] it is in, in, like, as a business broker, I love talking to boring business owners because they make our world go round. Man. Like you, they may undervalue their plumbing company that they've been running for 20 years, man, but we don't function as a society unless there are skilled technicians and tradesmen out there and women that can do this work.

[00:37:20] And so I think especially you and I got, we, we live in the digital worlds in a lot of ways. You run a agency, we do a podcast, but bringing all this stuff down to earth man matters a lot. And, and I just getting connected and being real as, as humans and, and living in our community and serving our community just goes a long way.

[00:37:39] It's a bit of a tangent here from porn to,

[00:37:41] Ben Albert: ple. .

[00:37:41] to tradesmen, but,

[00:37:43] Ben Albert: Can I expand on that a little bit?

[00:37:45] Yeah, I'd love, I'd love to.

[00:37:46] Ben Albert: First and foremost, like I'm not blue, I'm not red, I am purple. I.

[00:37:52] Yeah.

[00:37:53] Ben Albert: I will look at issues based on the SP specific issue and the merit and have [00:38:00] conversations with people on far sides to, and it ends up being purple. Like I end up being pretty moderate on most my opinions.

[00:38:09] Most Americans are pretty moderate compared to where we could be. And then you look at the example you just gave, there's a blue collar worker gridding to make a roof safe for a white collar worker working on zoom under that roof. Both of these humans, Both of these humans are making the world go round.

[00:38:35] So to align with as white collar, blue collar to align as ultra liberal ultraconservative woke ultraconservative like to align this way is forgetting the humanity of other humans that help make the world go round. So I by chance, end up being really purple, but my only political statement I'm making here [00:39:00] is you need to listen to your brothers, sisters, peers and friends because of the reason you gave their part of what make this society possible.

[00:39:11] We might not agree on everything. We usually agree on most things, and we need each other. So that's my soapbox to add to yours. You know,

[00:39:20] I love it. That was great. I like that was a good additional soapbox 'cause it was a little, but, but Ben, that's, that is for me, man, treating people like humans and recognizing that all of us are interdependent as, as rugged individualists as our culture is in America. None of this crap works without all of us serving and helping each other.

[00:39:40] The, the delivery drivers, the post people, the grocery stores, the doctors, the lawyers, all of us have lawyers may be questionable. Ah, just kidding. But the, it's, we all have a place in our society and without that we struggle. And I think it's easy to get pigeonholed into groups [00:40:00] or segments or kind of tribal like tribes.

[00:40:03] Tribalism is, is, it's always been a, a challenge for humanity. But if we can just see the human family component, I've always been a huge proponent of this, whether spiritual, faith-based, faith-based or not. Reality is we are a human family sharing this planet. That's reality. There's, that's not a debatable statement.

[00:40:26] So if you just operate from that perspective, you can bring a level of compassion to every interaction that you have with anybody out there in the world. Because without all of us playing our part, man, the world is not as cool as it is today. I guarantee you that.

[00:40:43] Ben Albert: Yeah, man. You mentioned it with California, that tribalism is a little bit culty to .

[00:40:50] It's really cold. Culty,

[00:40:52] Ben Albert: It's a little bit culty, you know?

[00:40:56] it's a lot. Yeah. That's, it's, it's unfortunate, man. 'cause California's a beautiful [00:41:00] state too. Like what? But have you, have you been out to California, been to parts of California at all, or? No,

[00:41:05] Ben Albert: I actually haven't,

[00:41:07] Well,

[00:41:07] Ben Albert: I'm up in New York state, so not a great excuse, but I'm about as far as it gets, but I haven't been to Cali yet.

[00:41:14] nice. Well, it, I would out of San Diego is great. Spent 10 years there. It's a great place to vacation if you ever want to go. But what, um, what part of upstate New York are you in?

[00:41:25] Ben Albert: I am in Rochester, New York, so it's up near Buffalo, Canada. And one thing I realized, I said just about as far as you get, there's farther places than California, but, but in the United States

[00:41:36] I know what you're saying.

[00:41:36] Ben Albert: the court. Yeah, man. I'm, I'm upstate New York, so kind of near Canada, um,

[00:41:41] Very cool. It's probably green and beautiful up there, huh?

[00:41:44] Ben Albert: dude, we got mountains, we've got lakes.

[00:41:48] It's, it's Northeast is beautiful. A lot of people, again, disagree with some of the, the way things are run in the Northeast, but my God, is it a beautiful place to live? [00:42:00] It's a creative place to live. We have nature, we have culture. I think it's pretty kick ass.

[00:42:06] Hmm. I love it, dude. Well, it's, I have a buddy in Buffalo. I'm gonna go visit one day. I'd love to. I've never been to Rochester. I'd love to make it up your way at some

[00:42:14] Ben Albert: Well, dude, I mean, buffalo's like a little over an hour from me, so if you are in the vicinity, this is an offline conversation. I'm gonna come to see you. It's not far at all, man. It's uh, and I'm a Buffalo Bills fan, so,

[00:42:27] Oh, well, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's a crazy game last night. Um,

[00:42:34] Ben Albert: I don't know when this comes out, but Josh Allen had five turnovers. Four, it was embarrassing.

[00:42:40] Yeah. I, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. , that's,

[00:42:44] Ben Albert: Hopefully this comes out in a week and they just won by like 60 or something.

[00:42:48] It won't even matter. It won't even matter. Week one in the N F L is always insane though. It's always insane. And like, even though we're getting off a bit on a tangent here of fantasy side too, like the, the waiver [00:43:00] wiring and all that stuff can be insane. People will have these crazy first week performances and then do nothing the rest of the season.

[00:43:05] Like, anyway. I love Fall Man football season and, and baseball's ending, like the weather's great. Like I just, I love this time of year, man. It's such a great time personally. Um, you know, Ben, getting back on kind of the, the, the vibes that we've been kicking around this show,

[00:43:24] Ben Albert: Did we get off track? Did we get

[00:43:25] ah, maybe a little bit. It's fine.

[00:43:27] This is whole part of the fun, right? I mean, you know, if, if you don't like this, just do the, the 32nd. Skip forward a couple of times and you can get right back to it. Um, something you mentioned last time and you shared a specific example was I. And you don't have to share the specific example again, but the, the emotional pause.

[00:43:47] You know, we, we talked a little bit about if you feel anger or if you're feeling sadness or frustration instead of reacting or kind of throwing that at somebody. The, the power of the emotional pause. [00:44:00] Like, can, can you elaborate on a little bit what that means for you and how you've used that in your life?

[00:44:04] Ben Albert: Yeah, man. And I, I forget what I said in our initial conversation, but I know I didn't say this. Um, what a blessing. And I didn't realize it at the, some, some of the, like most blessed, amazing things that had happened to me. I had no clue they were happening at the time. But in elementary school, again, where I was being bullied, I didn't really have that many friends.

[00:44:26] I was the awkward kid. I would kind of like sit there and stare at the wall. 'cause I a little a d h d a little, just a bored. I don't know. I, I was just a weird kid. And I would stare at this stoplight we had on our wall. And like any stoplight, you know, red, yellow, green, but written on the light, on red was the word stop on yellow was the word think.

[00:44:52] And on green was the word act. So from a very young age, [00:45:00] it was instilled in me, stop, think, act. And we often,

[00:45:07] you don't even know

[00:45:08] Ben Albert: oh my God. And usually we do the other things. We act, think, and then we stop When we make a mistake, it's easier to ask for permission afterwards. You stop, you act, think, stop. But it was kind of programming a stop think, act.

[00:45:22] And another thing they taught us was treat others the way you wanna be treated. What I've learned with maturity is it's, it's, it's more than just treat others the way you wanna be treated. It's treat others the way they wanna be treated.

[00:45:34] Yeah,

[00:45:35] Ben Albert: Treat others the way that lifts them up and who they are. Because if you lift them up, it lifts you up with them.

[00:45:42] So these are kind of things that were instilled at me at a very young age and I fall into, I fail all the time. I trip on my own trash all the time. I'm not perfect, but literally, just like taking a deep breath in the moment to acknowledge that you're [00:46:00] triggered, to acknowledge that um, something in your physiology seems off, you feel tingly, you feel triggered to acknowledge that moment and even possibly label it.

[00:46:12] You could even give it a silly name. I love the name Charles. I don't know why, but anytime like the douche bag, negative self-talk, like whiny little jerk in my head goes off. I call him Charles. Oh my god, that's Charles. But taking a minute just to chill. To stop, think, and then make a conscious decision, even if it's in the moment, just for 10 seconds just puts us in a better decision and, and we're talking very personal, growthy and kind of existential, but it's a good business practice.

[00:46:46] I ain't telling anybody not to move quickly, but think just a little bit. Journal about it a little bit. Ask yourself, how do my customers, clients, employees, people [00:47:00] around me wanna be treated? Think about it even just for a short moment and then take massive action. But without that taking time, pe they do it in the military all the time.

[00:47:12] You run a mission, you run a simulation, and then you go and then you decompress and you talk about what went right, what went wrong? Why do you think they do that? Because it works. Why don't we do that ? Why don't we do that in Business and life and anything out there. So I'm not from the military, so it's as deep as I can go into that one,

[00:47:36] Lot of, lot of, lot of, I think great success principles though. You can . Gleam from the military and the way they operate. And that's the point you're bringing up, is they run a pretty tight ship and have done some insane things. They accomplish insane things in absurd amounts of time with limited resources.

[00:47:53] Well, they have a pretty large checkbook in our country, but still they, the, the missions that they go on to your point [00:48:00] are often with limited resources, very specific time and limited knowledge. So that reflection period is crucial to understand, to learn and be ready and more prepared the next time something like that comes up.

[00:48:11] And to your point, it doesn't mean that we never act or we take forever. It's just pause and reflect. Just pause and sit with yourself in that thing, especially if you're feeling these deep emotional responses to a situation. Recognize it, step back and sit with it for a moment. Just make sure, try and get a sense of what that is.

[00:48:35] You know, it's funny, Ben, we have a, our daughter is, she just turned two in June and she and my wife and I must do this often. We got a two year old. It takes, you know, you got a lot of because you're, there's a lot of teaching and, and patience and all this stuff that goes on, and she's a really deep feeler.

[00:48:54] She's a, a really great little kid, but man, she's got a lot of emotions and [00:49:00] when she doesn't get her way, she's not happy a lot. And we're setting boundaries. That's part of the twos, you know, you're constantly setting boundaries. And she's recently been taking a breath and exhaling and laughing, like doing it like, and then laughing.

[00:49:17] And I'm like, dude, she's been watching Ashley and I do that because when we were young, she used to take a drink of her water and wouldn't go. Ah, and we started to realize like, oh my gosh, Ashley and I do that all the time. We didn't even notice it. But so the point is, is it helps to do that kind of stuff.

[00:49:37] You, especially if you're feeling those deep charges, but it's also funny that our daughter is reflecting that back to us and the behaviors that we're communicating outwardly. But, so if you apply that not just to parenting, but your friends, your business in your community, it gives you a chance to model solid behavior that can slow down that emotional response [00:50:00] and, and move from a place that's more intentional and not so emotionally charged.

[00:50:04] 'cause something you talked about when we did speak about this last time was you realize a lot of the stuff that you were feeling wasn't necessarily the other person, but your own stuff, responding to that. So instead of getting at somebody's throat, you may pause for a moment and go, wait a second, I'm actually not.

[00:50:22] Upset about them. I'm kind of mad about this thing that's bothering me and now I'm taking it out on them. That's not really fair, like to do that. We do that. I used to do that all the time, dude. I had a terrible temper when I was young and I would take it out on the people closest to me. And that though was a blessing looking back because it forced me to reflect on how to move forward and pause.

[00:50:45] And that's a powerful practice and it can be very simple, can't it?

[00:50:49] Ben Albert: Yeah, it's, I, it seems difficult to like look inward and take responsibility 'cause it's easy to be triggered. It seems difficult. [00:51:00] I think it's easier to take personal responsibility than to try to take responsibility to, for everything around you like . There's someone who's mad, there's someone who's sad, there's someone who's happy.

[00:51:12] There's all these, uh, emotions and energy coming outta different people To try to understand their history without knowing it. To try to change their mood without knowing them is really difficult. But if you change your state, . By changing your state, you'll change the state around you, or at the very least, change the perception of the circumstance.

[00:51:39] So it's way easier just to show up authentically. We started with this show up authentically as you with what's in alignment with you, not projected upon others. Just be you. Be yourself. So cliche, because a lot of people don't even know who they are. Like taking the time [00:52:00] to understand what you value, show up as your best self is easier than trying to change the world and micromanage every single situation because we're all projecting our own bullshit and trash all the time.

[00:52:17] But if you configure your own self out, it's gonna be a way easier to navigate those complex situations.

[00:52:24] That is so spot on, and I think we, we get caught up in the, the misconception that we change the world outside of ourselves, but we truly change the world from within and the way we operate and everything we touch. That becomes the ripple effect, and from there it grows, it

[00:52:42] Ben Albert: Mm

[00:52:43] that. That's one thing that I've always loved or I appreciate about Jordan Peterson's work.

[00:52:48] Whatever you may think about him or not, is his whole concept of cleaning up your room. Like stop trying to save the world. Clean up your room. It's not. Could be literal, but it's, it's basically stating just handle your [00:53:00] own stuff first before you worry about the state of the world and what everyone else is doing and all this stuff.

[00:53:07] It's, it's far more complicated and, and difficult to change that world than it is to change your own world. Just like you said. That's exactly what you were saying is, is looking out there and trying to fix all that stuff, Dude.

[00:53:19] it's overwhelming. It's scary. It's, it just sucks, really. But we have the power.

[00:53:27] When we reclaim it. When we leverage it. And that's the, the greatest change. And this, it took me a long time to learn this, Ben is the greatest change is that change of, of leadership by leading, by example, by being the thing. Do Gandhi, had he nailed that a long time ago, be the change that you want to see in the world.

[00:53:46] There's that nun, the the monk story where he's like, you know, when I was young I wanted to change the world. And then when I got older, I wanted to change my community. And then when I got like, and then finally he comes to the point I got wise. When I became wise, I realized [00:54:00] that the best way is to change myself.

[00:54:01] Not changing other people not changing. It's all that's the center of power is within us

[00:54:09] Ben Albert: Love it.

[00:54:09] why we're here. Dune

[00:54:10] Ben Albert: can I give you the goofiest example? But it made me super proud as a man, .

[00:54:14] please. Yeah.

[00:54:16] Ben Albert: and we can go into takeaways if you want. It's a whole tangent, but at the time of recording, I just got back this week from the Summit of Greatness with Louis Howes. Do you by chance know Louis

[00:54:26] Oh yeah. Yep, yep.

[00:54:27] Ben Albert: So, School of Greatness podcast, but I went to his summit and, um, in the theater bathroom in the men's room, I didn't count, but there was probably about 10 stalls and, um, 10 urinals and three stalls, and there was only two sinks, so the numbers didn't really match up.

[00:54:46] There was like 13 places to pee, but only two places to wash your hand. And the line to wash your hands was twice as long as the line to get in. Because people [00:55:00] would pee and then wait in line to wash their hands. And to see all these men waiting in line just to wash their hands made me very proud for the same thing you mentioned with Jordan Peterson.

[00:55:13] Like, no judgment. If you pee, you don't wash. We don't wash our hands enough. We just had a worldwide pandemic. Everybody's high fiving, love bombing each other with their piss state hands. No, wash your hands. And to see that many men willing to wait in line to wash their hands just made me proud that people are doing the little things again.

[00:55:38] I'm not shaming anybody who forgot to wash their hand one time, but how often do you wash your hand? Just for the heck of it. You pee, you wash your hands. To see all those men waiting in line made me laugh a little bit because I'm like, these are the kind of people that take care of themselves first.

[00:55:54] They wash their hands, they make their bed, they show up because they know it makes them better [00:56:00] for the people around them. ,

[00:56:01] dude, that a

[00:56:03] Ben Albert: it was so funny. Two yard, two, two sinks

[00:56:07] like, maybe they're just assuming dudes aren't gonna wash it. They're just not gonna, that's, that's, that's the assumption.

[00:56:12] Ben Albert: and if it was a rock concert, they they wouldn't be washing

[00:56:15] none. Or at a bar it. would be none. Everybody would just be rolling right out. But dude, that's

[00:56:19] Ben Albert: in the sink.

[00:56:21] that's what would happen.

[00:56:21] They would be using the sinks for, for being. Oh man, not gonna lie. I've done that myself, uh, but many years ago. But none of us are perfect. Right? That's the whole point. I think the, so much of getting better is recognizing where we just, we fall short on all things. I mean, that's why we're here, man.

[00:56:40] Nobody's got it all figured out. And I think that's, I think part of the fun. Taking care of yourself, putting your oxygen mask on, washing your hands after you pee, , taking care of yourself right? Enables us to serve and give to the community around us. I, you know, I'm a local B n I chapter here in [00:57:00] Mooresville, Ben, and the whole concept of b n I networking group is the give gain, the givers gain, and really looking to give without the expectation of gaining something.

[00:57:11] And that principle can change your life because when you really, genuinely seek to serve someone and their interest, because you've nurtured yourself and you're not coming from a place of need. You can look out for the interest of people in an honest and authentic way. The, the, the comeback from that, the gain that you do? receive over time is far more powerful than those short kind of taking vibes that we often see, particularly in the business world too, Right.

[00:57:39] Where people are only interested and transactions or getting something from you. Like the, the approaching things with giving and service in mind can be a, a way of life and a, and a way of living. What, what do you think about that?

[00:57:54] Ben Albert: Agreed. And um, this is homework, but if anybody hasn't read [00:58:00] Bob Berg, the Go-Giver.

[00:58:01] Oh, so good.

[00:58:02] Ben Albert: The Go-Giver from Bob Berg. It, it's told through a story which is very compelling. It's, I got the audio book and I literally blew through it on my drive to Columbus from New York. So it was a very quick listen. It's exactly what it teaches.

[00:58:17] There's people that are successful, but the people at the Tipity Tipity top there givers rule the world. The people at the top top are helping more people than you can ever imagine, and it's easy to point fingers at them. There are people that are exceptions to the rule, but in a lot of cases, givers are the ones that are ruling the world.

[00:58:40] They're the ones that are building teams. There's the one, they're the ones that are changing lives, donating to charity. Um, and if we can live to give more, we'll receive an abundance. It's a great book to learn about that.

[00:58:53] It is, and, and I love, just like you said, it's great because it's a story which makes it really interesting. It's not a typical [00:59:00] business book, so it really incorporates those principles. But if you adopt that man, it can be life changing. That's a, a great reference. I'm glad you called that out.

[00:59:07] Well, Ben, man, this has been fantastic. I, I loved having you on the show. The, the s hopefully it wasn't too, I feel like we, there's some practical action things that people can take out of the, the show. Would you think? Some of the things we talked about, I don't think we're too in the space.

[00:59:23] Ben Albert: Yeah. A lot of it was mindset. But here's the thing. This is just my opinion. Maybe I'm wrong. I bet 99% of your listeners already know what they're supposed to be doing. They're just not doing it.

[00:59:36] Mm.

[00:59:36] Ben Albert: And if they realize that, but if they realize, that's okay, that's what I went through. That's what you went through.

[00:59:43] Go take fricking action.

[00:59:45] Yeah.

[00:59:47] Ben Albert: I don't wanna give anyone more tips. They already know what they like. That's why they tune into this podcast because they're already leveling up. There's a million episodes that says exactly what to do. The question is, why aren't you doing it? And what happens [01:00:00] when you meet the man or woman down the road that you could have been, and you don't even recognize like who you are because you've been going in the wrong direction your whole life.

[01:00:09] Like, so that's my opinion on it. I hope that someone takes action today.

[01:00:14] I, I love that, Ben. And I agree, man. I hope that if you find yourself in a dark place or a place where you're not feeling aligned with who you are, just start doing the small things to get back to who you are and learning about who you are, because really that interconnection. Change is the way we do everything.

[01:00:31] And it, and, and it's, it's not cliche to think that, but knowing yourself is, is really the most powerful thing that we can do in the world. I truly believe that it can be transformational for us. And if we all did this, if all of us as individual humans took on this mission, this, this responsibility to be the best version of ourselves, the world would be incredible.

[01:00:53] It would transform. We wouldn't need to fix and change and save the world. All these brilliant people who are [01:01:00] aligned with who they are would be operating at a high level, coming from that place of authenticity and service man, which ultimately is in my mind the aim that we're driving towards. So Ben, this was fantastic brother with, um, before we part ways, how can people get in touch with you?

[01:01:16] What's your, your parting message to share? If you'd like to share one.

[01:01:19] Ben Albert: Yeah. Two quick parts here. First part, I wouldn't be here without Brandon, so if you haven't already subscribed, you're not on the sub stack, that whole jam. If you want extra credit, leave him a review. Send him a dmm. Do that first, because none of this is possible. This is being run by the man himself. So I'm blessed to be here with you.

[01:01:39] You can find me where you found this. Just type in real business connections. You'll find my podcast that'll lead you into the marketing company if you're interested. But type in real business connections where you found this. For whatever reason, that doesn't work, which is not impossible. You can just type it into Google.

[01:01:57] So just type real business connections into your browser. [01:02:00] But the barrier to entry is to show brand and some love first, and then, uh, I'll be there waiting for you, .

[01:02:05] I appreciate the love Ben. I really do man. That means a lot brother. Honestly, it really does. Well dude, this has been a great pleasure. I appreciate You having, having you on Ben. I'm definitely gonna have you on in the future again, my friend. So for all the listeners out there, we appreciate you tuning in.

[01:02:18] Hopefully enjoyed the conversation. You got some nuggets from what Ben and I discussed, and until next time y'all.

[01:02:26] Brandon Ward: Thank you for listening to Order Within. If you found the episode helpful, please consider sharing, rating, and subscribing. New episodes will be released every Thursday at 11am Eastern Standard Time. Until next time, y'all.