Sentence Completions to Facilitate Self-Responsibility
“In my therapy practice and my self-esteem groups, I work with a great number of sentence stems that allow clients to explore the psychology of self-responsibility. I offer a representative sampling below. The homework assignment would be broken up into weekly installments.” Nathaniel Branden’s recommended program:
WEEK 1
Self-responsibility to me means—
At the thought of being responsible for my own existence—
If I accepted responsibility for my own existence, that would mean—
When I avoid responsibility for my own existence—
WEEK 2
If I accept 5 percent more responsibility for the attainment of my own goals—
When I avoid responsibility for the attainment of my goals—
If I took more responsibility for the success of my relationships—
Sometimes I keep myself passive by—
WEEK 3
If I take responsibility for what I do about the messages I received from my mother—
If I take responsibility for what I do about the messages I received from my father—
If I take responsibility for the ideas I accept or reject—
If I bring greater awareness to the ideas that motivate me—
WEEK 4
If I accept 5 percent more responsibility for my personal happiness—
If I avoid responsibility for my personal happiness—
If I accept 5 percent more responsibility for my choice of companions—
When I avoid responsibility for my choice of companions—
WEEK 5
If I accept 5 percent more responsibility for the words that come out
of my mouth—
When I avoid responsibility for the words that come out of my mouth—
If I bring greater awareness to the things I tell myself—
If I take responsibility for the things I tell myself—
WEEK 6
I make myself helpless when I—
I make myself depressed when I—
I make myself anxious when I—
If I take responsibility for making myself helpless—
WEEK 7
If I take responsibility for making myself depressed—
If I take responsibility for making myself anxious—
When I am ready to understand what I have been writing—
It is not easy for me to admit that—
If I take responsibility for my present standard of living—
WEEK 8
I feel most self-responsible when I—
I feel least self-responsible when I—
If I am not here on earth to live up to anyone else’s expectations—
If my life belongs to me—
WEEK 9
If I give up the lie of being unable to change—
If I take responsibility for what I make of my life from this point on—
If no one is coming to rescue me—
I am becoming aware—
The power of the method is that it generates shifts in the consciousness and orientation of the individual without lengthy “discussions” or “analyses.” The solution is largely generated from within. If you keep a journal and over time write six to ten endings for each of these incomplete sentences, not only will you learn a great deal but it will be almost impossible not to grow in the practice of self-responsibility.
The best way of working is to do the week’s stems Monday through Friday, then do the weekend stem
If any of what I have been writing is true, it might be helpful if I—
and then move on to the next week’s stem on Monday.
Sentence Completions to Facilitate Self-Assertiveness
Here are sentence stems that can facilitate reaching a deeper understanding of self-assertiveness, as well as energizing its practice.
WEEK 1
Self-assertiveness to me means—
If I lived 5 percent more self-assertively today—
If someone had told me my wants were important—
If I had the courage to treat my wants as important—
WEEK 2
If I brought more awareness to my deepest needs and wants—
When I ignore my deepest yearnings—
If I were willing to say yes when I want to say yes and no when I want to say no—
If I were willing to voice my thoughts and opinions more often—
WEEK 3
When I suppress my thoughts and opinions—
If I am willing to ask for what I want—
When I remain silent about what I want—
If I am willing to let people hear the music inside me—
WEEK 4
If I am willing to let myself hear the music inside me—
If I am to express 5 percent more of myself today—
When I hide who I really am—
If I want to live more completely—
And on the weekend, after rereading the week’s stems, write six to ten endings for If any of what I have been writing is true, it might be helpful if I—.
“Of course, there are other ways to work with these stems. In my self-esteem groups, for instance, we might work with all the stems on this list in one three-hour session, speaking our endings aloud, then discussing our endings and their action implications.” Nathaniel Branden
These area really interesting...and timely in a way. Although my own disposition is that life is ultimately about surrender and from THAT taking action that flows from an inner alignment, there is a funny dance of sovereignty, of self-respons-ability as well.