Transcript for Episode 16

Part four of five on the self-esteem series

The Pillars of Self-Esteem - Part Four - Living With Purpose & Integrity

[00:00:00]

[00:00:43] welcome back everyone. New episode part four here. Of the pillars of self-esteem.

[00:00:54] Getting close to the end of this series. It's been great learning and refreshing. Around Nathaniel, Brandon, and the work that he's done. The final two pillars that we're going to be focusing on are going to be the practice of living purposefully and the practice of living with integrity. That's going to be.

[00:01:17] Summarizing and finalizing these last two pillars of the six pillars, and then we'll have one final part to bring it all together. Looking at the holistic approach that Nathaniel Brandon offers with his work. There are other books that he's written about. Revolving around self-esteem that I may focus on at some point in the future, but.

[00:01:40] For now I think this five-part series will

[00:01:43] hopefully be a very foundational piece. And provide some tools and strategies for you. To increase, grow, develop, and build. A healthy level of self-esteem. So getting into it, the practice of living. Purposefully. So Nathaniel Brandon says to live without purpose is to live at the mercy of chance, the chance event, the chance phone call the chance encounter because we have no standard by which to judge. What is.

[00:02:14] Or is not worth doing. Outside forces bounces along like a cork floating on water with no initiative of our own to set a specific course. Now, obviously that's living very passively. That's a component. That's come up quite a bit in this work. It's a component that comes up in general around transformation of self and doing the hard work that's required to live a fulfilled and flourishing life.

[00:02:42] And so passively does not work. If we're living passively, then we're not living purposely. Now let's listen to what he says is living purposefully. It's to use our powers for the taming of goals we have selected. The goal of studying, of raising a family of earning a living of starting a new business of bringing a new product into the marketplace of solving a scientific problem.

[00:03:05] building a vacation home of sustaining a happy romantic relationship. It is our goals that lead us forward that call on the exercise of our faculties that energize our existence. And so that ties into, I love that definition because ultimately that purposeful living. Are things that we're driving towards things that we're seeking to.

[00:03:29] Build create. Express in the world. And that's a powerful place to be. That is a very powerful place to be.

[00:03:38] So the next piece of this, that ties into living with intention, living with purpose, a piece of that is productivity and purpose. So living purposefully is among other things living productively. So effectively we're. We have to create for ourselves. We have to provide for ourselves. We have to support ourselves and doing that, the support of ourselves, of our family, of our partners, whatever it may be.

[00:04:06] Being self responsible. Is purposeful. The act of being responsible and caring for ourselves is a purpose in and of itself. So living purposely means that we're caring for ourselves, that we are living with intention. That we are seeking to bring about what lives within us and express it and share it out into the world.

[00:04:28] That is a very powerful place to be. Not many of us do that, though. And so because of that, we are live living a drift. Living without productivity and without purpose, we may be producing some things. Now this doesn't mean. From there's economics to this. But. Our esteem is not external. Production does not.

[00:04:55] Define our internal esteem. The difference here is producing for the sake of our existence to support ourselves, to live, to be, to fully express who we are. That's the distinction between productivity and purpose. It's tied back into our intention to living an intentional life. And when we tied that productivity to our purpose.

[00:05:18] We really become powerful people. And humans for creation. It's our ability to support our existence and share what lives inside of us. That is important. We act, we create and produce more when we're living with intention and purpose. And that comes back into efficacy and purpose. So if efficacy is a basic experience of competence relative to ourself and who we are.

[00:05:51] We build a sense of fundamental efficacy through the mastery of particular forms of efficacy related to the attainment of a particular task. The purpose. The strength of building self-esteem from production is not based on society standards, but from the fact that we are using the tools, gifts, talents, creativity of ourselves to build and create.

[00:06:18] That's the power of it. And that's us leveraging what we have and tying it to purpose. So being productive. Has the potential for being a very powerful self-esteem builder. But it has to be aligned with who we are. A lot of us go about producing and living in ways that are not aligned to who we are. And that's where we get ourselves in trouble is when we're not aligned with who we are.

[00:06:48] So here's a very, here's a powerful piece that brand Nathaniel Brandon says with such specificity, I'm able to monitor my progress, compare intentions with results, modify my strategy or my tactics and response to new information and be accountable for the results I produce. To live purposefully is to be concerned with these questions. What am I trying to achieve? How am I trying to achieve it? Why do I think these means are appropriate? Does the feedback from the environment convey that I am succeeding or failing? Is there new information that I need to consider? Do I need to make adjustments in my course or in my strategy or in my practices?

[00:07:25] Do my goals and purpose need to be rethought. So living purposely brings a high level of consciousness. That's how these pieces build. On one another.

[00:07:38] And so it's it. I love this part here, too. It is easier for people to understand these ideas as applied to work than it is to personal relationships. We know so many people who are very successful externally with a specific practice or study or field profession. But have terrible marriages or relationships with their kids.

[00:08:02] They can focus outwardly on those skills, but having that internal focus is the difference. And so it's tying back our specific intentions goals and then observing our behavior, looking at how we're living, being existing and ensuring that those things align. With what our goals are.

[00:08:23] This ties into self discipline. So real quick though, purposes, unrelated to a plan of action, do not get realized they exist only as frustrated yearnings or dreamings. So that's why anchoring what we desire into actions. Plans and strategies are crucial. Otherwise, we're leaving it all up to chance. Now we don't control everything.

[00:08:45] But we increased our odds for success when we do everything that we can and doing everything that we can is setting intentions, strategy and being aware of how all that ties back to what we're trying to achieve. Now. Self-discipline is an important part of this. Self-discipline is defined by Nathaniel Branden as the ability to organize our behavior over time in the service of specific tasks.

[00:09:10] No one can feel competent to cope with the challenges of life who is without the capacity of self-discipline. Self discipline is how we manage ourselves, our actions, our thoughts, our emotions. So developing that self-discipline is crucial. It's a skill so much of this as skills that we can learn when I was young, I didn't understand that. I thought people were born with these things and that they simply had those abilities to create, to developed.

[00:09:36] To be successful. I was wrong. They were skills that people have learned, whether they were aware of it or not is a different distinction, but they are absolutely skills that could be developed. And so he goes on to say that like all virtues are practices that support self-esteem self-discipline is a survival virtue, meaning that for human beings, it is a requirement of the successful life process.

[00:10:00] Without discipline of ourselves without commitment to, to order action. And dedication to that. We will struggle. We won't fall through, we will underserve ourselves and the world around us. That's an important thing to understand this isn't about criticizing or being judging towards ourselves or being harsh towards ourselves. But it's about showing up for who we are and what matters to us and developing, committing ourselves to daily action.

[00:10:29] Small incremental actions day by day are what produce results over time.

[00:10:36] The bamboo analogy is one of my favorites because it's, you don't see growth with bamboo. For months. It could be months before you actually see a bamboo shoot up out of the ground. But when it does. It reaches its peak hike normally in a 60 to 90 day period after bursting through the soil. But what happens is underneath the soils, all this momentum and energy is building and growing and then boom, you see the outcome. That's what a lot of us see when we look at.

[00:11:07] Quote unquote, overnight success or viral aspects. We don't see all the work that's being put in behind the scenes. So that's the component of discipline that lays in here. There's a lot of work that we have to put in. It's unseen. That's unrewarded and we don't bear fruit from, for a while. That's the power of self-discipline though understanding that consistency is what brings about results.

[00:11:31] And so he brings up another point here too. That a purposeful self-disciplined life does not mean a life without time or space for rest relaxation, recreation. Random or even frivolous activity that is super important to understand, because without that, we can't do our best work. We can't produce at a high level because ultimately.

[00:11:52] We're not recharging, resting, relaxing, playing, being free to do whatever. Watch a child. They are carefree. That is their capacity to learn, to grow to recharge. We have to capture that and remember that as adults is that. A life of discipline and purpose does not mean that we are not messing around from time to time that we are not recharging and doing those activities just simply for the enjoyment of it.

[00:12:20] All right. So looking at a few things here around what living in per living purposefully entails. So the first piece that he talks about is taking responsibility for formulating one's goals and purposes. If we are to be in control of our life, then we have to define our goals and purposes. We have to choose them consciously it's up to us to decide.

[00:12:41] What those goals are, what that means to us. And so no one can do that for us. And so we have to examine what our goals are, why we want them. Why does it matter? Why do I really want these things? Was that a goal that was someone given to me? Do I want a family? Because someone told me that's what I need to do, or do I genuinely want a family? Do I want to be a millionaire because I genuinely have desire to do that and create outcomes in the world?

[00:13:05] Or do I simply want to do that? Because society told me it's the way to do it. Reflecting on what we want and ensuring that there are goals are our own. Is it. Key piece to living purposefully consciousness is so inherent in all this.

[00:13:22] The next aspect is being concerned to identify the actions necessary to achieve one goal. So again, without the actions that support our goals, we're simply daydreaming. And so we have to be mindful of those actions. We have to identify those actions that are necessary and needed for us to succeed and accomplish our goals.

[00:13:41] Without that action without that dedication to doing, we will not. Bring about the desires and goals that we have.

[00:13:50] That ties into monitoring our behavior. To ensure that it is aligned with one's goals. So now we make sure we have the goals in there, our own, we understand the actions that are necessary if we don't know those actions and we have to go about understanding and learning what actions are needed.

[00:14:07] And then the third piece is.

[00:14:11] Is my action aligned with my goals. This is what happens a lot is we set goals about what we want, but then our daily life does not align around the actions that we're taking to meet those goals. So we have to be aware and observe ourselves daily to see where we are in accordance to what we desire, because if we're not aligned, if our actions are not aligned with what is needed to achieve our goals, we won't.

[00:14:39] And it creates this very.

[00:14:43] Painful way of living.

[00:14:45] So that's paying attention to the outcomes of one actions. And knowing whether they are leading to where we want to go. That's what that comes into. Are my strategy and tactics working, the things that I am trying. So it's not just are they aligned, but is it even working? So again, it's about observation analysis and consciousness by observing what we're doing.

[00:15:08] Are my tactics and strategy working. If they're not working, I pivot, what do I need to do differently? What isn't working, what is working? Where am I off? It's a constant state of curiosity and growth that we're going through to reach the state.

[00:15:22] And so that's the, these are the components that he considers about living purposefully and living consciously is key. These pillars really build upon one another.

[00:15:33] It's the difference here is being active versus passive.

[00:15:39] I love this quote here. It says as a life orientation, the alternative to goal fulfillment as a passive. Katie and aimlessness is it a tragedy that such a state does not yield a joy? Equal to the joys of achievement. It's not a tragedy. It's actually a blessing because it shows us that we're out of alignment with what we desire.

[00:15:57] It's. If we are feeling sad, lonely, depressed, angry, hurt. That's a good thing because. It's an indicator we have work to do. We need to change. We need to adjust.

[00:16:12] It's the challenge that we face to pivot into making changes in our life. Those feelings. Thoughts are reminders. Of the work that we have ahead of us and what we must do.

[00:16:27] And this is what's beautiful. The root of our self-esteem is not our achievements, but those internally generated practices that among other things, make it possible for us to achieve. All the self-esteem virtues we are discussing here. So these are the things that make it possible to achieve not our achievements themselves.

[00:16:46] But self-esteem is what enables us to achieve those pieces.

[00:16:51] clarifying aspect here, productive achievement may be an expression of high self esteem, but it is not a primary cause. A person who is brilliantly talented and successful at work, but irrational and real irresponsible in his or her private life. May want to believe that the sole criteria in a virtue is productive performance and that no other sphere of action has moral has morale or self-esteem significance, but that's not true if it was purely productive achievement.

[00:17:18] Then the most happy, fulfilled, highest self-esteem people would be the ones that achieve the most in the world. And that's simply not true. Just look at Hollywood. Hollywood is riddled with people who are on the surface are extremely successful. Have adoring fans globally making millions of dollars, doing things that you would think that they love.

[00:17:38] But deep down they're inside there. They're insecure. They're feeling insignificant. They're not feeling worthy. It's because they don't have that inner relationship with themselves. A lot of us look to fill that void within us by achieving external success. That's a recipe for failure. You can't work your way out of you. Can't.

[00:18:00] Produce your way out of feeling like crap about yourself. You got to get in there and build a relationship with yourself to make that change.

[00:18:08] This is a piece of around the personal worth side of that. And so when we look at. A question of whether self esteem is involved or not. The question to ask is. Is this matter within my direct volitional control or is it at least linked by a direct line of causality to matters within my direct volitional control? If it isn't, it is irrelevant to self-esteem self-esteem it should be perceived to be however painful or even devastating. The problem may be on other grounds.

[00:18:41] If we don't have direct control over it and sense of choice and freewill, or at least linked to that. It's most likely not connected to self-esteem and is out of that power.

[00:18:51] Self-esteem is built around things that we can control. That's where it begins and that's where it ends. That's the power of it. But that's also the fear of it is it's within our realm of control.

[00:19:03] So if our aim is self-expression rather than self justification, the balance tends to come more naturally. We will still need to think about its daily implementation. But the anxiety of wounded self esteem will not make the task nearly impossible. So that's, if we're out trying to prove ourselves, so many people are out trying to prove themselves, I myself have done this so many times. I still am working through these things, trying to prove my worth. That's not how we achieve.

[00:19:36] Self-esteem. It's our self expression of who we truly are as opposed to the justification. Of our abilities. There's a big distinguishing difference there on. What works.

[00:19:52] And what doesn't. Pushing for expression over acceptance is the difference. So seek to express yourself, not for approval. So I've got some sense sentence stems. Around. Facilitating living purposefully. I'll share those and link below in the episode here for you to check those out. I find them to be very helpful if you're struggling with any of these pieces of self-esteem any of the pillars of self-esteem these sentence stems are very powerful, very simple. Do not let the simplicity of them.

[00:20:24] Full you. I promise you that. All right. So that's a quick overview of living purposefully, the fifth pillar of self-esteem. We're going to now move into the practice of personal integrity.

[00:20:37] This is a fun one. It's interesting because of the way things sync altogether. And that's what I've enjoyed about this whole process, but the way Nathaniel Branden describes integrity is the integration of ideals, convictions, standards, beliefs, and behavior. When our behavior is congruent with our professed professed values, when ideals and practice match, we have integrity.

[00:21:04] Observe that before the issue of integrity can even be raised. We need principles of behavior, moral convictions about what is and is not appropriate. Judgment about right and wrong actions. If we don't yet have standards, we are too low on a development wrong even to be accused of hypocrisy. So the beginning.

[00:21:27] I have integrity starts with those ideals conviction, standards and beliefs and behavior. It's a system of operating that we define. If we don't have that yet, then we have to work towards defining that. For a lot of people, this information comes from organized religion or books or spiritual leaders, whatever it may be.

[00:21:47] Through learning through our community, but we have to define those beliefs that matter to us to begin to build our integrity. And so this ties into, when we go from here, next is the congruency. Have integrity. And what that means is how aligned are our words and our behavior. Are, we can grew it. Are we living aligned with our values and our morality based on the way that we live.

[00:22:15] If we are not, if we are aware of those values and we are not aligned with those values. That we are effectively living as hypocrites. And that.

[00:22:26] Destroys our self-esteem over time and it's not something that happens instantly. It's the small deaths by a thousand cuts to get us into trouble in these scenarios. And it happens by betraying our own standards. We go against our own self, our own judgment. I betray my mind. I betray my thoughts, my creativity.

[00:22:50] When we betray our own standards, when we say, you know, better than I do about myself, we are betraying ourself. We are denying our inner world. We are denying who we are. So being mindful of that. Being being. Mindful of the fact that hypocrisy in and of itself is self invalidating because we're going against what we truly desire what we're saying versus what we're doing. So living aligned is key.

[00:23:20] One of the greatest self deceptions is to tell oneself only I will know. Meaning only I will know if I lie only. I will know if, what I say and do are different only I will know. How I treat this person or what I tell you, and then what I do.

[00:23:37] That's a great self deception because.

[00:23:41] We, we.

[00:23:44] People will know outside of us and how we live.

[00:23:48] If we are unethical, if we are dishonest about how we are living. We can't avoid that. So. Our, when we say only I will know there's a truth in there, but at the same time, that's not true because we may only know, but our behavior, the way we carry ourselves, the way we feel about ourselves will reflect out into the world. It will undermine our self-esteem.

[00:24:14] If we look at like, so an example of this is someone who believes the perceptions. Of the media and reviews, going back to Hollywood. A person that's constantly living for the approval or acceptance of others. So reviews, critics, all of these things. But deep down inside, no matter how much someone may praise them deep down inside, if they don't feel that love and worth for themselves, it won't matter.

[00:24:45] So we deceived our deceive ourselves and thinking that we can overcome our internal struggles. With the so social, external acceptance.

[00:24:56] So by lying to ourselves, we impact how we feel and how we interact in the world. It's a big change to realize that we undermine ourselves when we're not honest about who we are and what we do now, this is again, Something that I'm working on every day. And so it ties into guilt dealing with guilt.

[00:25:21] Guilt is effectively a self reproach. It's basically saying I did it wrong when it was possible for me to do it differently.

[00:25:31] Guilt always implies the choice of responsibility. Whether we're aware of it or not. That's the power that it holds.

[00:25:39] A big example.

[00:25:41] If you, we carry guilt about things that we don't do. If we, if something happens, someone that we care about. Some tragic event. No matter what happens, no matter how un-involved we may have been, we will always look back and find reasons on why we're up to blame. Kids do this all the time, blaming themselves for divorce, blaming themselves for what parents do.

[00:26:03] It's a guilt piece. But it's a denial of self. In many ways. It's a reproach on who we are. The ultimate the original sin in the Bible is the ultimate essence of anti self-esteem. The idea of original sin says we are sinful for existing for being human. How cruel is that this is one of the reasons why I don't follow organized religion.

[00:26:29] One of the key tenants of the teaching. Is that just by existing? I am sinful. That's a horrible message. So already by being born, I'm corrupt, I'm broken. That's the message that's sent. And if you believe that, or if you were raised in a home that believes that even if you don't consciously believe it,

[00:26:47] Unless you unpack that. You will carry that with you and believe that inside of you and all that you do, and that will undermine your existence. It's a very tragic thing.

[00:26:58] So this ties into our values and irrationality. To me, original sin is. In a rational value, how can existing as humans being born into the world and also be sinful by born being born in existing. That's a rational. So my existence is sinful, but yet here I am an existing. So the very active as existing makes me corrupt, broken down.

[00:27:26] That's a rational, how can that be? It opposes itself. So understanding that we have to be mindful of our irrational values and being honest about them. That's hard to do.

[00:27:40] Hypocrisy allows us to keep those. Irrational values. Like a religion is one of those irrational values that, that leads to self-destruction in so many people. And it's something that we have to uncover. If there are beliefs values that are counter to existence, that we carry, then we have to challenge them. We have to be mindful of those.

[00:28:03] Irrational values. So here's some examples, right? Hardworking ambitious businessman, who has encouraged at the start of their careers to be productive. Industrious. But who, when they finally committed the sin of succeeding, we're confronted with the disorienting biblical pronouncement, that it shall be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.

[00:28:27] Former nuns and priests disenchanted with the religious institutions, to which they had given their allegiance and striving to define their values outside the context of a tradition that can no longer accept.

[00:28:39] Young person's, Revelle rebelling against the values of their parents and not knowing what vision of the good life to live by instead. So there are constant struggles. Wives who, since that the traditional view of women as servant, man, is a morality of self-annihilation.

[00:28:55] Like women are not here to serve men, but that's a concept that many people believe. If you believe that, and you're a woman, then you're already against yourself. So these are the things that we have to uproot our irrational values that we sometimes carry.

[00:29:09] All right. Moving into. Another piece here. That's interesting. So he talks about on following your bliss. So Joseph Campbell talks about following your bliss. That's I actually have an email address called following your bliss. It's an old one that I've had forever. When I was young, I thought that was the key to success. I realized I was wrong. It is in a sense.

[00:29:30] And this is the distinction that I love that Nathaniel Branden discusses here, because I think this is the key difference. He says, if I were forced to condense my ideas on morality and to a. Single sentence. Live consciously take responsibility for your choices and actions, respect the rights of others.

[00:29:50] And follow your own bliss. So that's what he would add in. And then he adds a piece of moral advice that he loves from a Spanish proverb. Take what you want said God, and pay for it.

[00:30:03] There is a cost to following our bliss. That's the essence there, right? We have to understand that if we wish to follow our bliss, we wish to live a life of passion. We still have to be responsible, caring, thoughtful, mindful. We have to live these pillars, their practices. That's why they're called practices is because we have to bring them into our world.

[00:30:23] And we know when we're deceiving ourselves. We know when we're deceiving others. The integrity is that I care about you as an example. I let's. I want to use my wife as an example. I love Ashley. But her, and I have made a commitment together that we don't share intimate details about our relationship challenges that we have with our friends.

[00:30:43] Our family, we don't run to them when we have problems.

[00:30:47] If I don't honor that, then I'm breaking the integrity that we have in our relationship that trust that we've built. So my boys and I have a good group of friends that I chat with regularly. We talk about a lot of things, but I don't bring up challenges that her and I have in our relationship. I don't share those intimate details with them. If I'm frustrated by something, or if we're having a challenging point right now, and I'm annoyed with her or I'm struggling, whatever it may be.

[00:31:11] I don't share those things because that's a way that we honor our intimacy and trust with one another. We don't bring other people into our problems. A lot of us though, we'll say that we care about people. We care about their wellbeing, but then we'll go and share intimate details about their lives or we'll go and talk differently about them behind their backs.

[00:31:31] If we're saying one thing to someone's face, but then doing something differently behind their back, then we're not living. And in, into with integrity.

[00:31:39] Again, this is the monitoring, the awareness that we have to bring to the things that we do, because that's how we live. And if we don't do that, then we are living a dishonest life with ourselves. And those around us, the people that we care about.

[00:31:55] Lies don't work. We can't alter the facts with reasons. We have to face reality. And the longer we deny reality, the longer we delay our engagement with reality. The more pain we're going to ultimately experience in the long run. Because truth is hard, but it's the way out. And that's the key difference is.

[00:32:18] The more we lie to ourselves. The more we lie to others, the longer we delay the inevitable, we will come to these points eventually. Whether in this lifetime and R or another. But these are the lessons that we're here to learn on earth. How to be honest, how to be authentic, how to express ourselves, how to learn, how to grow.

[00:32:36] How to take the tools that we've been given and turn them into meaningful, beautiful lives. There's so much that we can do in this world. So much potential that we have. But we have to live honestly. And it all ties back into aligning our values, our thoughts, our beliefs with our actions. And if we're not, then we know, and we're not living truthfully and authentic to who we are.

[00:32:59] And we can begin to make that change. That's the key thing. So I've got some sentence completions to facilitate the practice of integrity as well that I will share. There's a couple more pieces here. Around keeping your integrity in a corrupt world. So I love this little piece here, right? So it's basically dictates the world that we live in now will dictate behaviors. Whether people will do them or not.

[00:33:26] So if we live in a society where business associates, corporate heads, political figures, religious leaders, And other public personalities hold themselves to high standards of morality. It is relatively easier for an average person to practice an integrity. Then in a society where corruption, cynicism and amorality are the norm.

[00:33:46] We're living in that latter part. It's corruption. Dishonesty. Cynicism is the norm. And living with personal integrity is not in Vogue. It's not popular. So it's more difficult. So keeping your integrity in a cup corrupt world. Is an incredible feat. To accomplish. It is the ultimate act of rebellion in a world of this nature is being truthful, authentic, and honest.

[00:34:13] So being authentic and honest is truly an act of great change in a world of this nature. So if you're feeling that resistance and that struggle, that challenge to live and integrate integrity, driven life. It's natural because we don't live in an integrity driven world.

[00:34:30] And then the last piece here. That he talks about is the principle of reciprocal causation. What that means is. Our behaviors build on one another. So he says by this, that behaviors that generate good self-esteem are also expressions of good. Self-esteem. Living consciously is both a cause and effect of self-efficacy and self-respect and so is self acceptance, self responsibility, and all the other practices I describe.

[00:35:02] So the more I live consciously, the more I trust my mind and respect my worth. And if I trust my mind to respect my worth, it feels natural to live consciously. The more I live with integrity, the more I enjoy. Good self-esteem and if I enjoy good self-esteem it feels natural to live with integrity. So it feeds.

[00:35:20] Each other, just like it can go in the other direction. As you deny yourself, as you are dishonest with yourself, have you. Deceive yourself as you deceive others, we move further and further away from ourselves. We lower our self-esteem bit by bit. It's the same way in the other direction. We build up ourselves over time bit by bit.

[00:35:41] It's a reciprocal because it's a beautiful piece. And the analogy he talks about is to physical exercise. If we are in poor physical condition. Exercise is typically very difficult in the beginning. As our condition improves, exercise becomes easier and more enjoyable. We begin where we are and build our strength from there. Raising self-esteem follows the same principle. So early on this work may be very hard. If this is new to you and you haven't really had the chance to explore you, haven't gone within and been honest with yourself about the feelings and thoughts you have.

[00:36:17] It's going to be really hard early on. But it will change. It does grow. It does get easier. And eventually this becomes your way of operating. And it becomes the new norm for you. That's the state we're driving towards the new norm of and love and care. That's the piece that we're building towards here on order within.

[00:36:41] All right. Y'all. That is the final practice. The six pillar of self-esteem. Personal integrity. I'm excited to close out the final part of this series next week. We'll do a high level overview and talk about external factors and how they impact. Our self esteem. We'll do a little bit of an overview of kind of the whole picture here to close us out.

[00:37:08] And then moving into new episodes outside of self-esteem and the week to follow. I've got a couple of ideas that I'm marinating on. I'm not quite yet. Sure. Of what we'll be discussing, but I'm excited about it. Nonetheless. I'm also experimenting with daily posting. On my sub stack, I'm not going to be blowing up my.

[00:37:30] Readers via their email, but I will be posting daily. If you want to check that out, you can just go ahead and join my sub stack to gain access to that. I'm growing the value on that community by the day. Adding in podcast transcripts, adding in exercises that you can do, looking at additional content that doesn't exist anywhere else.

[00:37:48] And over time, I'm going to end eventually. Build off some premium components of that to make that really valuable for people that want to help support the work that we're doing here. And hopefully are finding value in what we're doing. So with that being said y'all until next time.

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