Too often we get caught up in the chase of life and forget the joy and wonder that God brings us.
As I reflect on my life, I see that there has always been the ever-present love of God with me. But I missed it so often. Enamored by the world and all it has to offer.
This created a loneliness in my soul that took years to heal. By God's grace, I was made whole. This is what I desire for all of my readers.
Seeking outside ourselves
Restless.
Isolated.
Anxious.
The lingering sadness.
This is often what we experience when God isn't present in our world. Not because we've been abandoned but because we've chosen to focus on other things.
Worldly things.
This pursuit of material fulfillment can often take us to the depths of our souls. The world requires so much of us to achieve "freedom." We are tricked into thinking security and peace can be found outside somewhere. The world lulls us to sleep with this deceptive lie.
It seems reasonable.
Everyone else has bought into it. But within us, we suffer. We struggle. No matter what we may accomplish and achieve, the emptiness is always present. The hole that can only be filled by the Creator.
Yet, we press on seeking more.
The Endless Chase of Materialism
God is redemption.
God is joy.
He brings so much enrichment when we open our hearts to Him. This is what saddens me most about our planet—how we pursue fulfillment in the world.
I was most miserable when I was at the height of material pursuits. Playing the startup game and trying to be a big shot CEO. I also wanted to be an actor. I've tried many different career paths seeking to find my "purpose.”
Searching in the world.
That is the mistake we so often make. This wheel of achievement is the way our culture tells us we find fulfillment.
In our passions.
But I haven’t found this to be true. I think so many of us get sucked into this cortex of confusion.
The beautiful solution?
God.
The way out of the Hell
As I I realized the chase of status and money wouldn't bring peace, I fell deeper into a depression. This depression followed me for years. I tried so many things over the years.
Some helped a bit.
But nothing helped like the embrace of God.
Discovering His love changed my life. It helped me to learn to love myself as I was. So much of my sadness and depression centered around my lack of self-acceptance.
I didn't think I was good enough.
I didn't know how to love myself.
I was never shown this. But as I started to embrace the fullness of myself and the way God created me, things began to change. I started to realize I was rejecting God and the way He created me by not accepting and loving who I was.
Now this doesn't mean I'm making excuses for my sinful nature. Not at all. It also meant I had to examine all of myself. The not-so-good parts too. All this was possible because of God's love. He guided me through the corridors of my soul.
This process was tumultuous.
It was ravenous.
It was all-consuming.
By trusting God I was able to slowly find the joy in how He made me.
Ephesians 2:4-5
“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ.”
God loves us fully and deeply.
When we lean into this we can transform any shame we may feel about ourselves.
All because of the Love God has for us.
The hurt blocks the Joy
Carrying these wounds limits the fullness of life. It's like carrying a shroud of darkness wherever we go. I had this experience for years.
I was suicidal. Depressed. Nothing could satisfy me. This happens to so many of us. Life wounds us and we wander the Earth seeking peace. But the only thing that can bring the peace we desire is God. At the moment, I didn't know it was God working His ways on me. He was teaching me how to love. How to care for myself. How to break the cycle of self-abuse.
We learn from our parents
How we learn to care for ourselves will be the way our parents treated us as kids. If we were fortunate, it would be with love and acceptance. Most of us are not that fortunate. Humans are flared and sinful, and our parents are no different. But until we learn how to love ourselves, the way God does, we can struggle deeply. The thing I missed back then, was the ever-present fountain of God's love.
Inner Bonding
Throughout all my seeking, God brought me to many books that helped. One of the most impactful was Healing for Aloneness, by Dr. Margaret Paul. This book taught me the concept of the inner child and how to parent myself. You can also check out the interview I did with Dr. Paul here:
With perspective now, this book is only possible because of the Love God has for us. The power to love ourselves and others comes from God. The joy we feel and experience all comes from our Creator.
But that joy can be blocked when we are wounded. We carry that pain until we heal. This is why we need God so desperately.
The Joy God Gives
The biggest regret I have is not discovering this sooner.
God is the source of all things.
Through Him, we can experience the full spectrum of life and all He has to offer. This is why I share so freely now. Life without our Creator is so dark, isolating, and painful.
The world can be so cold.
It doesn't need to be this way.
There is so much joy to be experienced with God.
If we pray and seek Him, He will be there. Seek Him in all that we do. There is no greater Love than to know the love of the Creator.
Cry out to Him.
Let His mercy wash away the shame.
The world seeks to seduce us away with all the luster and lights.
But just like in the garden, where we had all we needed, but we were seduced away from the Lovee He provides us—by the false promises of the world. This is also another way we run away from healing, by focusing on everything outside of ourselves.
But God's love is living within us awaiting our call.
What a glorious gift.
If you don’t feel this today, pray with all your heart for Him to come back into your life. He has never left and He never will.
Let us rejoice in the bounty of God's love and the fountain of His Joy.
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